Footsteps In The Sand

The New Dream..

2011-10-12T15:18:00.000-07:00

When it comes down to it, the things I see as being essential for me to achieve in my life are reasonably little.

First and foremost, a family.

Secondly, a home I can really call my own.

Thirdly, a job I enjoy.

Up until recently, I intended to attempt to become part of an industry that would have made my first 2 life goals pretty difficult to achieve.

I mean, lets face it; other than the Julie Andrews standard of actresses, how many are out there that can actually say they're financially stable?

I'll tell you..

Not many.

But anyway;

After soul searching and deliberating, worrying and panicking, I've finally decided the actual career that I want to have, and the prospect of starting it as soon as I can is really exciting to me.

It feels like such an obvious choice, that I kind of feel a bit stupid for not deciding on it sooner. If I had, I could actually be doing something really proactive towards it right now..

I want to be a teacher.

I want to help people learn.

I want to encourage them to express how talented they are.

I want to make sure they know that they can be anything. Do anything.

I want to be one of the ones your kid'll come home raving about and won't forget, even when they've left school.

I want to make sure they know that it's ok to be a bit worried about growing up, because it's a fricking scary thing to do.

I want to be the kind of teacher that does more than just teach.

That's the new dream.

Oh The Things We Do..

2011-06-08T14:34:00.001-07:00

We talk about things all the time.

You and me..

Just like everyone does.

All the things we want to do, that we wish would happen, where we want to go..

Who we want to be.

What we want to grow into.

We have to make all these decisions that we don't really want to make. All these things we have to think about, and all the stuff we have to deal with.

We have problems to sort out, friendships to maintain, and lives to lead.

And all I really want to do is..

Leave.

Just you and me.

Just leave.

Even if it's just for a little while.

I want you to know, I'd do anything to make you smile.

To see your face light up, and the look in your eyes.

To know that I truly made you as happy as you've made me.

I've given up caring if it sounds crazy, and I've given up thinking about what other people think..

I love you.

I want to be with you.

For always.

You Give A Little Love..

2011-06-02T08:43:00.000-07:00

I am a big supporter of all things acoustic-musicy, and so when I discovered this amazingly talented girl, I immediately became obsessed.

Literally.

Obsessed.

She got famous through YouTube (like Bieber, only way better) And yesterday, she did one of the most amazing covers I've heard for a while, and I thought it deserved some serious love. It wasn't a song I'd ever imagined her to cover, but I'm so glad she did! I think it's fabulous!

You can watch the video I'm talking about here, and I'd advise you to listen to more, especially the one's she's written herself. They're incredible.

She recently did a tour, and I was really annoyed that she didn't come anywhere near here, because I would have really loved to go and see her play.

She genuinely seems really lovely, and I think she underestimates just how good she is, which makes her even better.

Anyway,

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

I give you,

Gabrielle Aplin.

Enjoy.

(And let me know what you think!)

The 'I've Done' List..

2011-05-09T04:00:00.000-07:00

I was thinking yesterday, just how awful I've been when it comes to doing posts recently.

I've barely said anything, and practically disappeared from the blogging airwaves for quite a considerable amount of time.

It's just that, these past few months have been so busy that I've hardly had time to breath!

Since my last post, I have:

- Been in a school production of 'Annie'

It seemed adorable when we first started it, but quickly lost all it's charm.

- Finished my Performance A2

My exam was on Friday and went really well, but for about a month I was eating, sleeping and breathing the 2 pieces we had to create, learn, practice and 'enjoy'..

- Been to America

It was the best school trip I've ever been on, and when I'm on the right computer I'll put up some of the photos.. But it really was incredible. Jealous?

- Panicked quite a bit

I have 2 psychology exams coming up, both of which I'm dreading, and one of which is on my 18th birthday. I was not happy to discover that.

- Spent a lot of time with my boyfriend

I'm not going to lie. He makes me very happy. And I love him.

- Reached 'that point' at school

I'm at the stage where I can't wait to leave. The prospect of coming in every day makes me kind of angry, and I'm really hating my subjects. I just can't wait to be finished.

- Worked something out

I genuinely don't care about a lot of the things I used to care about. What people think, what I look like, if people agree with what I say.. If they don't like it, sod it. It doesn't affect me.

- Made plans

I'm doing so much once school's out.. Stainsby festival, Whitby folk week, going to Devon with the Mr, going camping with friends, and 'helped' plan the big party in a few months time.. It's going to be one hell of a summer.

I finish school in 2 weeks for exam leave, and once they're done, I get to live my life, at least a little bit.

I can't wait!

2011-02-15T08:06:00.000-08:00

Who needs a mature birthday party when you could dress up as:

Superwoman

The Queen of Hearts

Or a Magical Fairy?

Who needs to worry about anything, when you have friends like these?

I love my girls..

And when you have a serious lightweight for a boyfriend?

Who puts up with your crazy ass hair?!

And dresses as Woody from Toy Story?

I loved this night.

Here's to many more.

Dear Old Acquaintance..

2011-01-01T14:48:00.000-08:00

This Christmas was strange for me..

For the first time, I didn't feel massively festive..

There wasn't the build up of seeing decorations gradually appearing, I missed the lights being turned on in town, and I found thinking of what I wanted present-wise genuinely quite difficult..

I had a really nice Christmas with my family.

We travelled down to the Isle of Wight on Christmas Eve, and came home on the 28th (feeling very full). I got lovely presents, but the best thing really was just spending time with people I cared about, and hadn't seen for ages.. I'd really missed them.

But New Year?

New Year was a totally different story.

I will admit:

Me and my friends at school had been planning what we wanted to do for a few weeks..

With significant input from my mum, obviously..

We settled on it being:

-Back tie

- Casino night

-With roulette

- And plenty of food

And it was an absolutely brilliant night.

We looked fancy..

We gambled with fake money.. For chocolate.

Everyone got on really well..

*cough* Even if they did cheat *cough*

We acted a little crazy..

But it was all very lovely..

Then we had a few impressive fireworks to celebrate it being midnight..

And looked good while we watched them..

Then we crashed out in my front room and chatted the night away..

I had an amazing night, with some really wonderful people..

That's the basic run down of my New Year..

How was yours?

My Up Day..

2010-11-30T12:48:00.001-08:00

The snow of yesterday kept coming.. It resulted in a day off school.

A snow day.

In England.

In November.

This is the view that I woke up to today. Minus my friend.

My garden became a playground for the day..

It was seriously deep..

By lunch it was about 8 inches deep..

It' now easily twice that..

We were wrapped up as warm as we could get..

My friend Deeds was in my mums gloves so that her hands didn't freeze..

And then we became childish.. As is the custom in snow..

We just couldn't help ourselves..

We made snow boobs.

I had a really wonderful day..

I could forget everything I thought I was worrying about.

I could laugh and not feel guilty about the work I hadn't done..

I mean sure, I feel a bit guilty now, but school's shut tomorrow, so it doesn't matter too much..

It was really nice..

To relax and have a laugh with some of the people I care about..

2010-11-27T13:45:00.000-08:00

Today.. It snowed.

The drive of my house felt like a wonderland..

I made fresh footsteps and felt like a 6 year old..

My white wellies looked grey..

The fresh snow on my walk to work was begging to be stepped in..

And the blue sky and sun just looked wrong against the snow..

Today.. It snowed..

I loved seeing how people had tried to cover as much fresh snow as they could..

I loved that I found icicles on traffic lights beautiful..

I loved that the snow didn't stop people from going into town at all..

Today.. It snowed..

I marvelled at the effect that snow has on the world..

How innocent it makes it seem..

How peaceful everything becomes..

How it makes everything seem, just that little bit, more bearable..

Today.. It snowed..

And my world felt brighter.

Today.. It snowed..

What did you feel?

Death By Education..

2010-11-17T08:02:00.000-08:00

I used to be one of these kids.

I loved school.

I loved learning, and practising and getting good grades.

I loved that feeling of satisfaction when your work was rewarded..

Be it with good grades, kind words, or actual awards..

Yeah, I was a geek.

But at least I was a happy geek.

With pristine books

A spotless record..

Homework always in on time..

Nothing else to worry about but school..

Work that I understood straight away..

But now?

This is far more my style.

English Language..

Performance Studies..

Psychology..

And don't even get me started on Critical Thinking..

I'm in my last year of A levels, and I would literally be counting down the days until I get to leave..

If I could be bothered.

Or had the brain capacity left.

I'm pretty sure that most people my age feel like this, but..

If I could walk out now, and still have a good life?

I would.

No questions.

I'm burned out.

I can't do it any more.

And I don't even feel like it's worth it.

Did you feel like this?

Do you feel like this now?..

Is it just me?

P.D.A - To Do Or Not To Do..

2010-11-07T09:27:00.000-08:00

Today I went to meet the Mr in town.. While we were there, we stopped for a drink at a 'well known high street coffee retailer'..

*cough* Cafe Nero *cough*

Anyway, while we were there, I started to feel really ill.

Me and the Mr had been sat around a little table on separate chairs to drink our drinks, but when I started to feel sick, we moved onto the nearest sofa. We sat down, and he put his arm around me, and he gave me a kiss.

Now I will admit, it wasn't a peck. But we were quiet, discrete, and there were only 2 other people in sight of us in the cafe.

(a married couple, that we decided afterwards were unhappy :P)

These people, it seems, are not fans of public displays of affection.

They complained to a member of staff, who came over and told us to stop.

This member of staff was not polite, and looked at us like we were dirt.

It made me very angry.

I'm now boycotting Nero.

We left very soon after.

-------

For us, kissing in public has never been something to frown over.

We're teenagers.

We don't really have anywhere else to go, other than public places..

(Preferably free ones, as we're not exactly made of money :P)

And personally, I've always found it quite a nice thought that people can feel comfortable enough with each other and the strength of their relationship to be open about it in that way..

No matter of their age..

Where they are..

Who might be there..

Or the circumstances they're in..

To me, people should be able to express their feelings however and where ever they want. And people trying to impose on my relationship and tell me when and where I can express my feelings for my boyfriend really annoys me.

On the other hand.. I know that's not how some people feel so..

What do you think?..

Is P.D.A something that should be accepted?

Or should people be able to stop it when they want to?

Teeny White Lie..

2010-11-06T14:56:00.000-07:00

So, a little while ago, I posted a piece on faith.. In this post, I wrote my thoughts on god, and religion, and the universe..

The other day, I got to thinking about what I said, and I realised..

I don't know who I am at all.

I don't know what I believe.

I'm unsure about how to get what I want.

And occasionally, I think the universe is harsh and mean place.

There are times when I feel completely lost.

And this is one of them.

Over and out.

Is This Really The Way It Is Now?

2010-10-20T11:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was sat chatting in my free.. *cough* ..sorry, 'Study Period', with two of my friends, and we got onto the subject of university.

Now.. We're all in our final year of 6th Form.

We're going to be moving on soon.

Moving out..

Being independent..

Meeting new people..

Creating new experiences..

Changing our whole lives on the basis of a few decisions.

Now, I doubt it's escaped anyone's notice that the whole government/uni thing isn't going massively well at the moment.. Fee's are going up, places are becoming harder to get..

Basically, it's a nightmare for anyone who wants to go..

Then Katie started talking about what subject choices she'd made at the start of A Levels..

Now.. She's really clever.

Like.. Stupidly clever..

And she took both English's, History and Maths..

(Then dropped maths at the start of this year..)

She loves English..

And she's amazingly good at it..

But she was saying that she wishes she'd taken science's.

Not because she enjoys them, but because they'd give her more points to get into university.

I mean.. She's good at science as well, but I don't think she enjoys doing it much..

But she'd rather do something she didn't like, and get in to uni and get a job afterwards, because jobs to do with English aren't really that easy to come by, and it might be quite hard for her to find one..

And then she said something that really hit home..

She said:

'That's the price you pay for doing something you enjoy.'

Is that's really what it's come to?

Is the world that screwed up, that we can't do what makes us happy?

We can't do something we enjoy, because there's no money in it?

Or there's just not the opportunity?..

People don't jobs they really like, because.. They don't have chance..

That thought actually makes me really sad..

Are we going to end up with loads of really unhappy people in the world?..

People who don't like what they do..

Or where they are in their lives..

Or the type of person they've turned into..

I suppose we'll all just have to hope won't we?..

Here's To..

2010-10-11T13:22:00.000-07:00

So recently.. I've been kinda busy..

Last week was show week, and it took everything out of me.

It took all I had to get out of bed in the morning and go to school.

It took so much effort to carry on through the day and not pass out.

While it was one of the hardest weeks I've had in a really long time, it was one of the most rewarding as well..

While miming my way through a show,

Making friends with cast members I've never met,

Laughing through dances I was getting wrong,

And learning to cope with no where near enough sleep,

I managed to find someone I thought I'd lost forever..

But this wonderful person decided to let me back in to his life..

Back through the wall that I'd been gradually building..

Back into his head..

Despite what had happened in the past,

And what I'd done to both of us..

I'm amazed that he had the strength to risk it..

Or the belief that I had grown enough not to mess it up again..

I just wanted to say thank you to him.

For having such faith in me.

For having faith in us.

And for giving me a wonderful night at drama.

A night of laughter

And love

And dancing

And magic..

Cheesy as it sounds..

That's what it was..

And I loved every single second of it.

Faith..

2010-09-24T16:17:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about higher powers. Religion. The universe.

I like the idea of religion.

The peaceful side of it. The love. The comfort of many people believing in one thing together. The unity that it brings, and the solace it must give those who have the confidence to feel it.

I dislike the other side.. The side that lives in shadows, making people live in fear. That kills, and believes that in doing so they are somehow making their souls more worthy of attention from a higher being.

I think that having that faith to believe in when everything else is going horribly wrong must be a wonderful thing. I imagine it to feel very safe. Like a huge blanket of comfort around you all the time. And along with that safety there must be a feeling of companionship. There are so many people out there who believe, that it must be hard to ever feel truly lonely.

This said..

I don't believe.

I just can't quite get my head around the concept.

I know it's not a giant man made out of clouds floating out there in the sky somewhere, but whenever I think of God, that's the image I see.. Whether he's floating just over my head, or in between the stars, it just seems to obvious. Too simplified. I've grown up in a family that doesn't believe.. It's what I'm used to..

No.. I believe in the power of the universe.

It's vast enormousness.

It's undiscovered elements and entities.

The endless possibilities that it presents to us.

It's beauty..

The knowledge that no matter how hard man tries, he will never discover all of it's secrets.

It's unfathomable wonder.

And then I believe in superstition.

And luck.

And fate.

And magic.

And wonder.

And true love.

I believe that there is a perfect person for everyone.

But I don't think that person is born for you alone.

I think that they grow into the person you need them to be.

The one that we're 'meant to be with' proves to be a perfect fit, because we make them so.

Soulmates grow.

They are not formed.

The power of the universe is what I choose to believe.

I'm not writing this to force my opinions on anyone.

I don't expect others to believe as I do.

For many people, this will seem the strange way of looking at the world.

I still haven't quite grasped it..

I think it's a slightly Pagan way of thinking..

It makes me feel calmer, thinking that there's something there to look after me.

Even if it's not a floating man in a long white robe.

It's like each star shines to keep me safe.

Each sunrise brings me hope.

Each sunset takes away my fears.

I find the universe calming.

That's what I'm holding on to for now..

What do you believe?

How Different We Are..

2010-09-18T13:45:00.000-07:00

It hit me this week, how differently I look at the world compared to other people..

For example..

At the moment, we're studying The History of the American Musical in my performance class, and I've thrown myself into it hell for leather. I love musicals. I always have. Since I was a really small child..

I remember watching Grease for the first time at my cousins house.

I just sat in front of the TV, absolutely transfixed.

I couldn't take my eyes away from the colours.

My ears drank in the music.

My heart embraced the characters..

From that moment, my life has been consumed by the theatre. To me, music is music.

It's all beautiful.

It's all wondrous.

For me, this type of study, where I have an excuse to watch Oklahoma and West Side Story and Carousel and every other musical under the sun is as enjoyable and fascinating as studying can be..

I never really thought how unappealing it is to other people. One of my friends described Oklahoma as being 'too old'.. Another said that she'd rather have studied drama and law, over the American musical. To me, this was a completely unappealing..

I couldn't comprehend how someone would rather look at law than West Side Story..

Then today at work, I got talking to my boss..

I'm an optimist. To the extent that sometimes I think my happiness annoys people.

He's a realist and a pessimist. To the extent that sometimes he seems mardy.

He's not - he's just shy.

We were talking about the world.. How everyone seems so depressed.. How all the news is bad news.. How when a rare piece of good news comes along it's so frequently overshadowed by someone questioning it or saying it's not true..

It makes me sad.

I don't read newspapers.

I don't watch the news.

The extent of the news that I hear is on the radio.

I don't like the gloom in the world..

But in all the sadness, and the misery..

I've found what I love.

I've found the people I love.

I've found my niche in the world.

Yes, I'm weird.

Yes, I spill my heart out on the internet.

Yes, I act inappropriately with my friends.

Yes, I don't swear.

Yes I'm really close to my family.

Yes, this may make me strange in the eyes of many teenagers.

I don't care.

I love knowing who I am.

I hope you're all finding your feet.

Just To Dance..

2010-09-16T14:21:00.000-07:00

Tonight I had a breakthrough..

For my entire life, I've felt confident singing.

For a really long time, I've felt confident acting.

I've never felt confident dancing.

I've never had formal dance classes.

I've danced in shows as part of the musical theatre aspect of it.

Other than that, I've just danced around the kitchen or my room.

It's not quite the same.

Because of that, whenever I've danced, I've felt out of place..

Undeserving to be on the stage..

Dancing with people who've been doing it since they were 4..

It seemed like I'd never match up to them.

I was never worthy.

But tonight was different.

Tonight, I jumped, and skipped.

Tonight I flick-ball-changed to my hearts delight.

Tonight I span, and turned in mid air.

Tonight I didn't care if I went wrong.

Tonight I laughed and enjoyed the feel of my body moving.

Tonight I flew.

Tonight I got lost in the dancing.

The way I get lost singing.

Tonight I felt like part of the music.

At one with the music.

It felt amazing to think that I'd gained the confidence.

The surety that I could do it if I wanted too.

The peace, that I wasn't as bad as I thought I was.

And that made me amazingly happy.

It made me think I can do it.

I can get to where I want to be.

And realising that, made me even happier.

Over and out :)

Ahh, The Power..

2010-09-08T13:41:00.000-07:00

So, I went back to school today. And in true geek fashion, I was really excited.

I'd missed my all of my friends.

I'd missed the routine I had.

I'd missed feeling like I'd done something useful every day.

I'd missed learning (I'm a geek - I told you)

I'd missed the walk to school as the sun comes up..

(That one only happens a few times a year, but still..)

I'd missed having people to talk too. Face to face.

I'd missed my teachers. Yes. I really had.

I'm that cool ;)

But today, I went back.

I practically skipped down the drive this morning.

Year 7's moved out of the way when I walked down the corridor.

Teachers came in and got excited when I said I'd done their summer work.

I got asked to come in and talk to year 12's about how hard they need to work.

(I'm sure they'll love me for it :P)

I got the make deputy-head-girl decisions.

I got to put up posters for a party I was helping to organise.

Yes.

Today was a good day.

Tell me off if I start moaning about it in a few weeks ;)

Damn It.

2010-08-29T11:47:00.000-07:00

'I don't know where we went so wrong,

You were right there,

But somehow my friend had gone,

Okay we got broken, but we could start again,

It could be like the old days,

If we could just pretend..

Let's make it feel like the first time,

And start from now.

Tape over the memories of last time,

But learn somehow.

Leave the words we said behind,

And when we fall asleep,

Let's make it feel like the first time..

I don't know all the words to say,

Know how to please you,

Not how to ease your pain.

One day we'll look back and,

We'll laugh out loud.

It could be like the old days,

We'll paint this whole damn town..

Let's make it feel like the first time,

And start from now.

Tape over the memories of last time,

But learn somehow.

Leave the words we said behind,

And when we fall asleep,

Let's make it feel like the first time..

We're down to our last chance now.

Forget that you know me inside out.

Let's make it feel like the first time,

And start from now.

Paint over the memories of last time,

But learn somehow.

Leave the words we said behind,

And when we fall asleep,

Let's make it feel like the first time.'

- Because I love Newton Faulkner

- Because I can't let go.

The Old and the New..

2010-08-27T08:08:00.000-07:00

There are so many things that have changed this year.. So many things that used to be, are no longer.. And new things have appeared in my life..

I Miss:

- Being able to get up at 7.30 and still be on time for school, instead of 6.30 and only just getting out the door..

- When you could text someone and they'd actually reply straight away instead of having to check your phone just in case they've thought to answer..

- When liking someone was simple, and didn't make you want to run to them and beg them to care as much as you do..

- When summer was summer, not wet and November-like.

- When you always knew where you stood people, and no-one faked anything, or lied..

- When people wrote letters, or talked on the phone.. When contact was direct rather than secondary, and people actually talked to one another..

- When people you trusted wouldn't do anything to break the trust. Only reinforce it.

- When going back to school was just routine, rather than the beginning of the end..

- When I didn't need to think about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life so seriously.. I could just hope and dream about what I might become..

But it's not all bad changes and depression.. Believe it or not I'm actually quite a happy little person.. So in light of that..

I Welcome:

- My final year of school.. It's both wonderful and terrifying at the same time, but I'm quite excited about it in a 'perched on the edge of my seat' kind of way..

- Going back to school as Deputy Head Girl, instead of the weird new kid..
- Getting rid of my fish tank. Watching them all die one after another was too depressing..

- Autumn. It's possibly my favourite season, with it's amazing colours and sunsets.. Autumn gives me hope, and joy.. I can't wait for the leaves to start falling..

- Going back to school.. I miss my friends.. And in a way I miss the mundaneness of knowing what I'm going to be doing when..

- The excersize that going back to school will force me to do. Walking there and back, dancing again.. I feel like I put on loads of weight over the summer, and I really hate it.

- My close-knit family unit of 10 getting closer again, after too much time being separate.. We're not really one family, but 2.. But we'd grown up together, and then drifted apart, and now we're coming back together, and I love it..

- Getting over past trails after many attempts. Moving on from mistakes.. Learning to look at things with new eyes.. Letting go of things I messed up, but left too late to change.

-Getting back into my jewellery making. Creating things.. Slaving for hours over a single piece, and then the feeling of satisfaction when it's finished..

- Getting to that point with driving when things happen out of instinct, and my mum can stand to be in a car with me at the wheel :P ..

- The new people who have just, or are about to come into my life.. I hope that I make as much of an impact on their lives as they have on mine.

There's been a lot of change.. And I'm gradually getting used to most of it..

Oh.. Right. Thanks For That..

2010-08-26T15:16:00.001-07:00

I just had to sit and listen to my own family talking about whether or not I'm going to succeed as a West End actress..

For 20 minutes, I could hear as they talked about it. There was nothing I could do to stop it, and no way I could drown out the conversation. So I ended up listening through a door.

Like a criminal.

What they said really shook my confidence..

I mean, if my own family think something like that..

I know they were discussing it because they have to look out for me, like all parents would, but I don't think they realised I could hear them.. I don't think they realise that I know what kind of world I'm trying to break into.. I'm prepared.. I know how hard it'll be, and I can't WAIT to take on the challenge.. I want this more than anything in the world. And not for the applause, or the fame, or even for the money - because most of the time, I won't have all that much, and I'm ok with that.

No. I want it for the thrill. The high that nothing but the stage can give me. That feeling of complete and utter bliss. Of ecstacty. Of joy that nothing else has ever, or will ever, match. It's a completeness you can't find anywhere else.. You feel at one with everyone in the room, and at the same time totally seperate from anyone else in the world. Not in a selfish way.. Just in a way of happiness and solidarity with your own capabilities.. With your own soul.

That's what I want this so badly..

But now.. Now I'm not so sure..

Mum, I know you read this. Please don't bring it up with me, or get angry.. Just leave it unless I bring it up myself.. I don't want it discussed any more for now. Hearing it all once was plenty..

Dear Universe..

2010-08-20T15:00:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've started talking to The Universe..

Thanking it..

Questioning it..

Reasoning with it.

Attempting to make sense out of it.

The Universe always rescues me..

It gives me rainbows when I'm down..

Sunsets when I'm lonely..

Rain when I need to wash things away..

Flowers to make me smile..

The Universe has never failed me. And hopefully I will never fail it.

It makes sense out of everything I see.

The from the most obvious landmarks, to the smallest details.

I will never understand why people do the things that they do.

Why we act on impulse.

Why we let our emotions tear us and others apart.

How people can do horrible things and not even care.

Or even stupid things. Like freaking out after eating too much fatty food.

Tonight, I sat with The Universe.

Under the stars and the clouds.. Watching the moon.

Wishing I could be that little bit closer to the infinite space that's out of my reach.

Feeling so much a part of it, but so insignificant at the same time.

A tiny detail.

It made me think about my Universe.

The Universe that I want to create for myself.

A haven for my dreams and thoughts..

A place of sanctuary in times of trouble, and answers in times of need.

Until I get my own, I just wanted to say..

Thank you, Universe..

In My Own Skin..

2010-08-12T11:53:00.000-07:00

When I was younger, I wanted to be a princess.

To be locked in a magical tower, waiting for the day when my handsome prince will come and rescue me from the terrifying beast who kept me where I was.. Like every typical 6 year old.

When I was a bit older, I wanted to be famous.

And rich. And have enough power to make people love me. To wear beautiful clothes, and live in a beautiful house.. To be important. Like every typical 12 year old..

Then, I became very self concious.

I cared too much that I didn't like wearing the trendiest clothes, or listening to the music that everyone else liked.. I hated that I didn't fit in with the niche's of my school, or the cliché's that everyone else just seemed to slot into so effortlessly..

I wasn't perfect. I'm not perfect. Far from it. I don't think anyone can ever be perfect. And I hope that no-one ever expects me to be perfect and fit in with the prim and proper barbie dolls that seem to roam the streets.. Because I won't.. I never will.

And I'm ok with that.

One day, it finally hit me that I didn't want to be perfect. My princess dream was never going to happen, and there is no prince ready to come and whisk me away.. There may be someone close, but like I said.. No-one's perfect.

My idea's of fame ended when I started reading all the magazine's about celebrities lives and the problems they have.. The media's a horrible, hateful thing, and it rips people's lives apart. That is not a world I want to be a part of.. Those realisations were about year 11 time..

When I changed schools, and went into year 12, I really started to come into my own.

It was a turning point for me. It was the first time that I really felt that the people I was around didn't really care what I wore, or the kind of person I was.

Or maybe I suddenly became confident enough to not care if they did.

Now, I'm brave enough to say that:

- I wear crazy bright tights

- I put flowers in my hair, and I love the way it makes me feel

- I would quite happily be an elf

- I turn chewing gum into little parcels in my mouth with my tongue

- I wear shorts under any skirt I ever wear

- I do it because I'm paranoid

- It makes me sad that more people don't read this

- At the same time, I feel safe knowing only the important people do

- I watch way too much American TV

- I find the world beautiful, even in busy, crowded, dirty, sad places

- I talk to characters on TV shows, because I think it will make them less stupid

- I love my family, and how involved in my life they are

- I love that my mum waves to anyone on my webcam, and my dad hides

- I'm useless at keeping fish

- I have a draw of chocolate in my bedroom

- I dip into it waaay too much

- I often have days where I hate something about the way I look

- It's usually my stomach

- I'm working on getting over it

- I'm not always a good person, no matter how much I try to be

- I'm dreading my exam results as I actually have no idea what to expect

- I get jealous of people

- It's happening less often, which makes me very happy

- I want to be more of a hippy

- I sing to show tunes when I'm stressed because it cheers me up

- I want to end up in the West End

- I am beginning to believe that I may actually get there

- Part of me still think's it's wishful thinking

And most importantly..

- I am happy in the skin I'm in.. As the person I am..

And the person I'm turning into.

- I try to never get angry at the universe.

Over and out..

Pond..

2010-08-11T03:16:00.001-07:00

So, last weekend, I was at a Doctor Who convention in Summerset.

Because I'm the biggest nerd ever.

I was hired to be an Amy Pond look a like for the weekend.. Walk 'round Fleet Air Arms Museum, talking to families and little kids.. Posing for photographs.. Signing the odd autograph as 'Amy Pond' here and there..

The whole weekend was really amazing. Completely overwhelming, but amazing at the same time. It's brilliant how quickly you get used to walking into a room and seeing full sized Daleks and cybermen wandering (or trundling in a Daleks case..) around.

Now, I'm not going to pretend that I'm one of the hard core DW fans.. I enjoy the show a lot, but I'm nothing compared to this lot. They were wonderful, but completely obsessed :') It was great, and I had loads of fun with them. I'm looking forward to seeing some of them again at a convention at Magna in November..

I did realise though, that if I say 'I want a K9' to these people, unlike my mum and dad; who just shake their heads a sigh, they'll start telling me who can make me one! I actually had to stop someone talking about it :P

I know I don't look like her.. The outfit was basically right though..

I could cope knowing I don't look like her. I was happy to be a part of the weekend, and embrace that people knew who I was meant to be. I didn't need to see someone on Facebook saying:

'You'll never be Amy Pond, bitch.'

They didn't say it directly to me, it was a status, but who else can that be aimed at really?

If they'd spoken to me recently, they'd know I agree with them. Rather than just making me feel both ridiculous and about 2 foot tall. I know I take things far too personally anyway, but that really got to me :/

So thanks for that.

I now have a soft spot for Cybermen.. Hard not too really, when you see 2 year old children in normal clothes, running around with cyber helmets on.. Baby cybers are too cute to hate.

I drove this Dalek. It was amazing. Although, I had an accent for the weekend to be Amy, and I couldn't loose it when I was in the Dalek, so even with the voice changer I was Scottish. Luckily, only one person noticed, and I managed to move away pretty quickly from him :P

So yeah.. That was my surreal weekend.. Going back to normality afterwards was strange.. And really boring actually..

Man, normal life sucks sometimes.

Changes..

2010-08-02T03:58:00.001-07:00

Things that have changed for me recently..

- My hair is a brighter red than ever. It may seem impossible, but it is true :')

- I'm now Deputy Head Girl at my sixth form, meaning that I have a small amount of influence in the things that go on within upper school.. It's quite a nice feeling :)

- I'm now a year 13, meaning I'm in my final year of school before university.

It's terrifying.

- I learnt the hard way what kind of person I don't want to be with. Due to miscalculations of many things, from a persons character to my level of tolerance for general idiocy I ended up being in a doomed relationship.. That I'm now out of.. Although I think he forgets that sometimes.

- The previous change led to me actually liking being single. Since my long term relationship ending I'd missed having someone that I could talk too about rubbish, stay up late talking too and text all the time. Now I've decided that I'd rather be happy and alone for a while..

- My general outlook on life is very different to how it used to be.. I can't put my finger on why or when in particular it changed, but I much prefer it this way. The world seems brighter..

Most days the birds seem louder..

- I'm pretty sure I've become a happier person.

I think that this is my favourite change.

- I managed to cross number 39 off my life list.

I slept under the stars.

At a festival. (Not a requirement, but a massive added bonus)

It was probably one of the best weekends of my life.

The people (both old and new), the music, the late nights, the early mornings, the general feeling around the camp site, the craft tents, the clothes, the crazy hippies wandering 'round and looking perfectly normal (the way they should all the time), the vegan food van, singing along to a guitar really loud until 3 in the morning, the freedom, and yes, to a certain degree, the alcohol :P

Stainsby '10 made my life.

S'later :)

This 'Growing Up' Business.. It's hard..

2010-04-15T10:34:00.000-07:00

I've had to do many things, in the course of growing up..

I've broken up with my boyfriend..

It was hard.. And horrible.. But for the best. And he knows that. We both do.. It's a bit lonely.. We lasted 8 months.. I'm proud of us.. It just got too much, on top of everything else..

Yesterday I attempted to sleep without my phone by my bed, because I knew there was no point in it being there.. No-one was going to text me.. It was strange. I'm not doing it again. The hope is going to keep it there..

I've had to work like hell recently. Juggling all the revision I have to do for my exams, as well as being the lead in Hairspray.. I'm so busy that sometimes I feel I barely have time to breath.. But at the same time as panicking like hell, I love it.. I'm revelling in the time that I get to keep moving.. The times that I'm out of my house, on my own..

I'm trying to be more independent.. Getting too and from places on my own.. Just generally attempting to be a bit more grown up.. It's hard work. It's always so easy to ask for a lift somewhere, or a bit of extra money.. But I'm not. Today I asked for a lift after painting set for 2 and 1/2 hours.. Other than that I've walked everywhere these past few weeks..

But, on the other hand..

I've discovered many joys..

Singing to Glee in the shower has proven to be a brilliant way to cheer myself up after a hard day. It makes me very happy.. Especially their version of 'Walking on Sunshine/Halo'. That's a really good one :D..

Walking home in the sun. The feeling of the sun on my face, and a little breeze in my hair is one of the best in the world.. Just the knowledge that summer is so close gets me through the cloudy days.. I hate cloudy days..

I've created a list of things I want to achieve in my life.. My Life List comes everywhere with me, just in case I manage to do anything.. At the moment I'm on 89. I've completed 7. I feel that this is a serious accomplishment :)

Anyway.. I'll write again soon :)

I Love Spring...

2010-02-09T08:46:00.000-08:00

I love Spring...

The way the light brightens the house up...

The way the trees cast longer,

darker shadows on the ground...

The way the drive lights up, so

I can actually see where I'm going...

How blue the sky is compared to the trees...

And during winter...

I always forget how bright the sun can be...

I love Spring...

It means it's one step closer to Summer...

I Miss...

2010-01-13T13:40:00.000-08:00

The Stage...

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9d28q_glee-dont-stop-believe_shortfilms

Yes, it's Glee.

Yes, it's the definition of cheese.

No. I don't care.

Because it is. It really is glee. That feeling.

Nothing can top the high of being on stage.

Singing with people you love. A song you've learnt to love.

It's the best high in the world.

This clip really made me miss the stage.

That whole world...

I hate not being a proper part of it...

I live for that high.

I'll get there.

One day.

I'm not going to watch other people living my dream my whole life.

Nothing can keep me off the stage.

It's such a part of me, that watching shows like this makes me jealous.

I hate that they have such good stages in America.

They always have tonnes of talented people in one school in the films.

They all get the right opportunities.

The right people to see them.

To teach them...

I don't care about fame.

I don't care about money.

I just need the stage.

And everything that comes with it.

Give me lights and stress over an office and stability anyway...

Thank you Glee, for re-affirming my faith in myself.

I am going to get there.

You just watch me.

Oh How I Love Whimsy...

2010-01-10T03:26:00.001-08:00

I decided recently, that I want to become far more elfin... I love all things small, and earthy.. Flowers, birds... Nature in general... And I want to feel like more of a part of it...

I was looking on Etsy recently, and come across some beautiful whimsical headbands and bobbie-pin style accessories... The only trouble is, I'm not the richest person in the world, and this shop is very good quality... And therefore, a bit too costly for my meagre budget...

But with things like this....

And this...

I'm finding it very hard to care about the money... Really all I want to do is order them and get them here as soon as possible, so I can wear them every day...

If anyone is interested, the site I found them on is:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/gardensofwhimsy

I would really appreciate some help trying to find some other items that are as beautiful as these, but cheaper... If you can think of any sites, or shops at all, please comment and tell me...

I will be an elf.

If it's the last thing I do...

If only...

2010-01-09T13:57:00.000-08:00

Now was everyday...

I'd lock up the gates to Atlantis,

And hide the second star to the right,

Or maybe I'd run 'round the world backwards,

If it meant I could keep hold of tonight...

Because there's nothing in the world that can move me,

Like the touch of your hand holding mine,

Or the feeling contained in a whisper,

When you promise that it'll all turn out fine...

I don't care if they say it's too early,

Because even young love can be true,

And I know that what I feel is a heartbreak,

Every time I have to let go of you...

I love that with you words come quickly,

As they race to get out of my head,

And if it was between you and writing,

I'd always pick you first instead...

And I know this all sounds really cheesy,

Like a bad film that plays on repeat,

But I'd rather that I learnt how to say it,

Than just think it and stare at my feet...

Just bring me Everyday...

You Just Won't Understand...

2009-11-27T02:05:00.000-08:00

My love for Mystery Google...

One Day I Will Learn To Sail...

2009-11-24T03:44:00.000-08:00

'I am not affraid of storms,

For I'm learning how to sail my ship...'

Lousia M. Alcott...

Reasons To...

2009-11-13T03:25:00.000-08:00

Today, I got told off by Melissa (Of - All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. ) because I haven't been writing my posts properly... Well... I haven't been writing enough :P... So, I'm writing again, to keep her happy :)

I was really pleased with that last entry, which is maybe why I left it up for so long. I wanted more people to have the chance to see it... I really love those photo's and it really made me happy to take them.

I got asked today if I was planning to take any more, because Jacob wanted to see them. Bless him :) ... I've taken some more, and I've just found out that I can put them on at school, because the memory card fits in the PC!!!! :D

Happy Days :)

So here we go... Some more reasons, why everyone should love autumn...

When Rainbows just make it through the clouds...
But they still manage to make the sky light up...

When the sky is so blue that the ground looks dark...

When the tree's just can't quite make up their minds...

About whether they sould be red...

Or yellow...

When the sky's so blue that the tree's look even more colourful...

When the trees are dark, when the sky is still light...

When you can still see the sun when the tree's are dark...

Reasons to Love Your Friends...

You can pull stupid faces with them... And they won't judge you...

Because they perform in gigs, and make you go...

Because when you forget a sign, they always have a pen...
Because they leave you for a few minutes, so you can be with your boyfriend :)

I'm so happy :) ...

I Love Autumn...

2009-10-25T15:27:00.001-07:00

I Love How The Trees Look Like A Rainbow...

I Love How The Light Filters Through The Leaves...

I Love The Mountains Of Leaves On Roadsides...

Esspecially When They Crunch Under My Feet...

I Love When My Feet Stand Out Against The Ground...

I Love When The Smallest Trees Have The Brightest Colours...

I Love Randomly Possitioned Traffic Cones...

I Love How The Litte Flowers Look Against The Sky...

I Love How My Town Looks In The Light...

I Love Illiterate Grafitti Artists...

I Love Puffy Autumn Coats...

I Love How Bright My Hair Looks...

I Love How Bright And Clear The Sky Is...

I Love The Contrast Of The Trees...

I Love How Wrong It Looks, Having A Clear Sky, At The Same Time As The Christmas Lights...

As Much As I Complain About It, I Love Autumn...

New Starts...

2009-10-22T04:08:00.000-07:00

Well bloggers, how are you likin my new background??!! ... I'm loving blogging at the moment. I think it might be because iv got SO MANY PEOPLE at school into blogging :P (See my blog list) ... They're all very cool, and i love them tres much :D ...

We were meant to be dressing up today, for halloween, to raise money for a charity that's near to us, but it got canceled yesterday because it was supposedly 'disrespectful' to the reason we're raising money for this particular charity. A teacher at this school died last year, and the charity helped her before she passed. I don't see why it would be disrespectful though, because from what i've heard of this woman, she would have loved it and thought it was a right laugh.

But oh well...

We've postponed it, so I can be a geek another time :D

Yesterday night made up for the disapoinment though :D ... The 6th form (which is made up of years 12 & 13 for those readers who are American) had a MAHUUUSIVE game of Manhunt up at one of the woods near us. We basically had a huge team game of hide and seek in the dark, in a wood... Because we're that mature and cool :D

It really was a rediculous amount of fun. I got stuck in trees, i got twigs and holly in my hair, i got covered in mud and camoflarge (sp?) paint - yes, we really did take it that seriously - and i had an absolutely BRILLIANT time doing it :) ... It got the 2 sets of years talking abit more.

I love it when there aren't any boundaries about who you talk too. When no one is scared to approach someone just because they're in a higher year. Years don't mean anything. Just that you were born a bit earlier. Age shouldn't matter. Not in schools anyway. I can't wait until we're all so comfortable with each other that we can just strole over to a y13 and strike up a conversation out of thin air :D...

I really love my new school.

It makes me happy :)

I still miss my old one occasionally, and i still miss JALS a lot, but I'm so happy, and my world is getting more and more interesting as every day passes.

Any who :D

Laura (See Barker)told me today, that she thinks i have more time in a day than normal people do, because i manage to fit everything in. She doesn't understand how i manage to do everything...

At the moment my weekly plan is looking a bit like this:

Monday: School, G&S Drama Academy

Tuesday: School, Chesterfield Studios doing Hairspray

Wednesday: School, Singing lesson, Open mic night

Thursday: School, Normally i get the night off

Friday: School, Normally i get the night off

Saturday: Work 10 - 5...

Sunday: Homework day, unless i've been organised and done it during the week like a good girl :P

The truth is that i don't know how i do it all. All my homework gets done, i go to all my lessons, and i rarely miss any of my drama things. Maybe i have guardian fairies or something... I actually can't understand how i manage to do it all...

But i do ... Happy days :)

Anyway, i've got some research to do, so ill sign off :) ... Hopefully getting a new camera tomorrow, so should have some photos up soon :)

Oh, and ...

I LOVE BECKY!!! ... AND AMY!!! AND SIAN!! AND BECKY!! AND STEVIE!! AND KATIE!! AND JESSIE!! AND MELISSA!! AND LAURA!! AND JACK!! AND DANE!! AND JACOB!! ...

Oh sod it, i love my school :D

Flippin' 'Eck...

2009-10-07T01:47:00.000-07:00

Well my gosh it's been a long time since i did this...

Me, being the rebellious little fiend that i am, am writing this from an ICT room at my school!! ... Study period flashback much???

However, this time, im with Becky... Who, let's face it, is quiiiiiiite rockin', and has adopted me as her geek :P ... Good tiiiimes :D .. We're meant to be doing some work in our study lesson, to work out and find examples of persuasive texts or speeches for English Language... However, i thought id check in on blog land while im here :P ..

I'm going to do another blog soon, with photo's from the 6th Form Party i went to last week, which was awsome!! ... So, yeah, they'll be up soon :) ...

(Incase you hadn't noticed, im abit happier than i was last time i wrote.. mainly because i want to be, and if i want to be happy, i will be :) Simple as... )

So how are you doing petit peeps? ... Have you missed me? :P

What the hell happened to us?

2009-09-21T14:13:00.001-07:00

She's switching schools? She's BLOODY switching schools??? I was her BEST FRIEND, and i didnt know. I know im not at the same school as her, but personally, i think i deserve to know.

As far as i can see, it's to be with her boyfriend... i cant see any other attraction to that school personally... and if that's why she's going there, then she's in for a disapointment.

Darlin, i love you so much, but you MUST know, that at 16, your relationship WILL NOT LAST. If you are switching to be with him, my advice is : Dont. Those friends of his that you've made? Who will they side with when you break up? Who will you be left with at your new school? ... Think about it...

You start there tomorrow... were you ever going to tell me? ... I had to find out from the Facebook status of Sarah's boyfriend of 3 DAYS!!!... You may have been planning on telling me, but as far as i can tell, iv just been kept out of the loop, on my own, and in the dark...

We were all so close... and now look whats happened? a massive dessision like this, and i didnt know ANYTHING about it until FACEBOOK TELLS ME! ... Didnt i at least diserve a text?

I miss how things used to be...

I miss the old you...

Before we left school...

Before i left you all...

And before he came along...

Im sorry... But it's the truth... Something that,

at the moment, you seem incapable of telling...

Look at how we were...

Why is this crumbling? ...

< /3

GCSE's, and the Official End of Summer...

2009-09-07T00:43:00.000-07:00

My my, i have been neglecting my blog!!! ...

Sacre Blur and Blady 'Ell!!!!

Right... so much to say :P ...

GCSE results came out, and I did better in many subjects than i thought i would, but not as well as i wanted too in 1... Which was music... Which is my main subject... So i was quite annoyed about that... But anyway, my completed list of subjects - including the AS that i did a year early, because im a geek like that :P :

AS English Language: C

Core Science: A

Additional Science: B

French: C

Art & Design: B

Drama: B

Music: B

History: A

ICT: Pass (C)

ALAN: Pass (C)

English Language: A

English Literature: A*

Im esspecially pleased with my Drama, because i did the entire course in 9 weeks... the teacher thinks i must have set some sort of record, as iv just made a mockery of the whole school system :P ... I was also thrilled with my result for French, because it was the highest grade i could get only doing foundation... And, i thought id failed :P

And History was unexpected aswell, because one of the questions wanted information about the discovery of Chloroform... That was fine... Apart from the fact i couldnt remember who had discovered it... So i waffeled on, saying everything i knew... other than this guys name... (Which insidently, is Young-Simpson :P)

I did a crash course in ICT, in a 2 day course at school, just so that i had some sort of ICT grade, and a C was the highest i could get in that aswell :) ... So... :D

Right... Today is the first day of my new school... I've had to move schools for 6th form, because my school doesnt have one... I'm having to leave JALS during the school day, because they're all going to a different 6th form... and im a bit worried that we're going to be pulled apart and not see each other... Which would be crap...

JALS, I LOVE YOU...PLEASE DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN!!!...

So.. Wish me luck on my first day... I'm quite scared... But i'm hopin itll all be ok...

Love to you all ... :)

<3

My Favorite Things to See:

2009-08-18T05:38:00.000-07:00

A sunset...

When JALS are all together and smiley...

When my phone light up because he texts me...

Le Francé and other Escapades :)

2009-08-03T11:25:00.000-07:00

I'm Baaaaaack :D ...

Incase anyone noticed that I have been absent from the blogwaves for a while, it is because I went on a jolly holiday to the land of onions and striped T-shirts :) ... Ahhh France. T'was good :) The cottage we stayed in was great - although we dont think it had been cleaned properly for a while and there were cobwebs everywhere, which, seen as me and mutti both hate spiders, was not really good. Anyway, it was really sweet and I enjoyed it a lot. The pool was fantastic! We had to share with the other 2 houses, but it just meant that there were more people to talk too...

The pool :)

The door to mine and Ruth's room

The other 1/2 of our room

The view from one of our sky lights

The 4 letters that I sent from France to my 4 most important friends :D

As well as going on holiday, I have been busy avec my amis :) ... Well I was before I went to France anyway... We went for a picnic in the local park, because we could :P

Jess, shaking her tail feathers :P

Sarah/Rambo and Jess/Perv...

Sarah/Rambo

Jess/Gasha and Me with wierd facepaint stuff :)

Me and Jess in the public toilets :P because we're cool :P

Me in Geek attire :)

Sarah as a fairy :)

Us 3 :) ... Harry Potter, Gasha and bunny :)

Love to you all, hope your having as nice a summer as I am :)

Ooft...

2009-07-02T08:52:00.000-07:00

Well my gosh it's been aaaagggeeeessss since I last wrote!! I've just been so busy doing... well... nothing really haha. I've left school now, and all my exams are over (!!!!) and I basically have entire days to do exactly what I want, which is fantastic!!

I'm still a bit 'puft' about leaving school...it's been such a massive part of my life for so long that I guess i'm a bit scared of leaving. Sometimes I don't want to move on :P ... It's not always a good thing haha...

This is what I'm leaving behind:

But don't get me wrong, I'm really excited about the next 2 years. 6th form is going to be great!

I only have to do subjects that I have chosen to do, and it's such a relief haha. No more science, no more teachers telling me that I should have carried on with maths...

My prom was a few days ago:

This is JALS and the 4 lads that we went in the limo with. We had a great time in that limo haha... the driver let us stand up and lean out of the sunroof! .. Like in the films. It was awsome!

I love these people :) <3>

This is me and my date Jamie. Bless his little heart, I think he was even more excited about the prom than I was haha ... <3>

This was a close up of me that my old headteacher took of me when I didn't notice haha...

This was me before we went to Sarah's to get in the limo. Mum nearly welled up bless her haha. 'My little girl! Where's my little girl gone?!' ... teehee I do love her :)

Anyway... I will love you and leave you :)

Goodbye :)

Sweet 16

2009-06-15T13:30:00.000-07:00

It isn't my birthday yet, that's not for another 2 days. However, my drama lovies, because they are both rockin' and groovtastic, made me a birthday cake on the last rehersal before the big day.

As you may know, I make them all a cake on their birthdays, and I think that they thought that they needed to repay the favour...and I'm so glad that they did. The cake is FAB!!

Isn't it just the sweetest thing??

I do officially love it, and I am so very grateful to the lads. It was NB and KW that made it all on their own, and they must be vair vair pround. I know I would be.

Thanks guys!!

<3

Les Examons...

2009-06-12T10:08:00.000-07:00

Well, the exam season is nearly at an end for me :)

I only have one left, and it's not for a few days, which is good :)

What is not so good however, is that the last exam I sit, is not only a science exam, but it's also...

On my Birthday :( ... :(

Not just any birthday...

My 16th birthday :( ...

Although...I supose it could be worse. At least it isn't the day after my birthday, because then I'd have to have my party later, which would not be good :P

Now, at my fabby party...we (and by that I mean JALS) intend to burn all of the books that we will never need again :D ... I can't wait.

However, we're having some trouble thinking of ways to have the bonfire without damaging the tarmac in the garden... We can't have it on the grass because it would burn it... And I don't trust the BBQ enough to want to put the fire in there...

Any suggestions anyone? ...

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY SOOOOOON!!! :D

Incase you hadn't guessed, I am a tad excited lol...

Anyway...I am going to love you and leave you :) ...

Clones, God How I Hate Them...

2009-06-02T14:37:00.000-07:00

GRRRRRRRRR...

ATTENTION ALL CLONES:

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW ANNOYING YOU ARE!!!!!

I am a big believer in individuality. I want to be my own person, with my own thoughts and beliefs. I do not want to conform to the barbie doll image of many modern girls. I want to be comfortable in my own skin, knowing that I am the only person like me.

However, this is very difficult to achieve, when there is some one there, who copies what you do when you are being different.

For example, when they laugh at you for making your own clothes, or jewlery, but then the next time you see them, they're in a home made skirt and bracelet!

It is impossible for anyone to be their own person, when someone is also trying to be the same person!!!

I'm sure you all know someone like this...gives an air of self confidence, but really, has no idea who they are, and so copies someone they know. Not even someone they are particularly close too, but someone that they know.

She now wants to play guitar....now, I know that I am not the only guitar player in the world. But I like that it means I don't fit into your average pigeon hole. I cant be that much of a spoffy nerdy person, because I play guitar, which hey, is kind of cool. All the stuff I do to be different makes me harder to put in a generalisation, and it makes me abit...quirky.

It's just really starting to get to me, that she can't be happy as who she is. She has to copy me. Not in the little things, but the things that make me who I am. That make me different from all the plasticy, barbie doll, clones that are everywhere. I don't want to be like you, but apparently, for some wierd reason...you now, want to be like me.

CHANGE BACK TO BEING PLASTIC!! LET ME BE ME!!!

PLEASE!!!!!

Pass Times...

2009-05-31T10:12:00.000-07:00

Oh how i live for days like these...

Due to Sarahkin's incredible camera work, this one has a rather unusual view, but the photo reminds me how good that day was...

I knew I could get them to do it... it took a few minutes to convince them...Joshuraaaw on the bottom, Sarahkins supporting, and me on top :) ...

That day was just so perfect.

First we went to the park, but then went to Sarah's house to get a blanket and firsbees and drinks and things. Then we went back to the park and spent all afternoon messing in the sun...

Good times :)

You see the blue thing by Joshuraaaw's head? That my friends, is Sarahkins's frisbee...isn't it groovy? ... Unfortunatly, it doesnt fly in a straight line...but it's still awsome, and makes a nifty shade for any drinks that need keeping cold :P ...

However...I don't get days like this very often at the moment...what with all of my exams and things, I spend a lot of my time revising. It's really hard some times, esspecially on days like today, when the weather is so beautiful and I can't go out to meet my friends and embrace summer, but then again, days like that make up for it. Also, the knowledge that in 2 weeks I will get the longest holiday of my life keeps me going.

It seems that I have finally worked out that stress is temporary, and eventually it will fade. Until then, you need to lean on the people around you to keep you sane, because without them, it will just build up. Be happy in the skin you are in, because it is the only one you'll get, and you shouldn't ruin or deface it.

So blogger people... I'll leave you with this...

Let every dawn of morning be to you as the begining of life,

And every setting sun be to you as its close;

Then let every one of these short lives leave it's sure record

Of some kindly thing done for others,

Some good strength,

Or knowledge gained for yourselves.

- Ruskin....

<3>

Sob

2009-05-26T08:42:00.000-07:00

Ok... it's almost over... I say almost because I refuse to accept that I have to leave until my exams are done.

The last day of term was soooooo much harder than I thought it would be.

I'd been dreading it for days, but when it came to it, I didn't cry all day. It was when we'd all come back to school for the assembly, and we were all stood talking at the end. That's when I broke down. I was fine...until one of the supposed 'big hard roufty toughty' lads started crying, and then he hugged me, and said that he was really going to miss me. That's what set me off.....The assembly finished at about 3:10, but I didn't leave school until about 5:15 because we all stayed and spent ages saying goodbye.

I hate change. It's crap.

I've spent my whole life wanting to be older. So much time wishing that people would treat me like I was more mature, or give me more responsibility...and now I am, and they have...I want them to take it all back, and let me be little again.

I want to go back, and re-do all the things that I've done that I wish I hadn't. All the people who I've never made friends with, or just...haven't spoken too. All the times when some-one has upset my friends, and I never stood up for them...Or just the little stupid things that never occure to you until it's too late. Like when I got the wrong thing for my lunch...or when you get the chance to go round town with someone and don't take it...

My school has that effect on people. I didn't think that I could ever care about a place so much. It's more than just the people...it's the building...the atmosphere. The whole feel of the place...

I know it's the oldest cliché in the book, but it just sums up my school...
'It's like a family'
And it's true... everyone looks out for one another...you're never on your own. There's always someone to look out for you...someone there to chear you up...

Even the teacher's are nice. Honestly... you can talk to them about anything...they're like spare parents...sometimes they're all that you need. You can have a laugh with them, you can cry to them when you need too, you can even tease them, and know they won't take it the wrong way.

My school doesn't have the best reputation in the world...it was really bad about 10 years ago, but now? I'm so happy that I went there, and so sad that I have to leave. In a way, I wish I didn't love it so much, because it would make it easier.

Anyway...

I'll put up some of the photo's I took that day soon, because the internet keeps having a spaz, and isn't letting me put them on at the moment so...

Love to you all

Well well....

2009-05-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

Incase you hadnt noticed blogger world, my blog got attacked :) ...

Alex (The one who was Troy when I was Gabriella) decided that when I was out of the classroom, he would go onto my blogger account, which I had left on like a prune...However, what he wrote was partially true. I do love Alex, Liam and Jess...although Jess is not my girlfriend :P haha...

Well anyway...I was at Jess's 16th birthday party on Saturday night, and my my did we have a good time!! :D ... It was sooo much fun. There was Singstar, Popcorn, A small amount of alcohol, (enough to make Jess and Alex confess undieing love for me...I felt very speacil)

and 4 best friends. What more could a girl ask for?

I'll tell you :) ...

Nothing :)

It is the (not so) secret thing that all girls know. When you have the friends around you, nothing else matters, as long as you are all happy. And on Saturday night...we were all ... very happy :)

My dear Lexi spent half of the night telling us all that she loved us. She even accepted someones invite to prom from a lad in our year who we think is besotted with her :) ...(i did have to type for her, because she couldnt do it herself...it was quite hilarious) He then re-asked her when she was sober, to make sure she actually wanted to go to prom with him haha...bless his little socks...

And speaking of socks... :D

Lexi also spent a vast amount of the night getting people to find her socks for her... as they fell off her feet repeatedly... At one point, Jess spent half an hour looking for one of them, only to discover that Lexi had been laid on it the whole time. It was probably a 'you had to be there' moment...but if you were, it was very very funny :)

Sarahkins was vair sweet :) she slept in a very odd possition, because we were trying to fit 4 people on one bed. I don't know how she slept in such a strange pose, but somehow she managed it. She was also far more 'touchy feely'. Normally she doesnt hug people...but that night, she came and snuggled with me on the sofa when i was abit upset (texts from a bad mean person) and she sat with me untill she made me laugh, and then kept checking on me all night bless her heart.

Jess'kaaaa is awsome when she's had a few. She's so funny, and she dances like a crazy person. Who's on steriods. At Christmas. After they've been visited by Elvis. She really is quite fantastic. There's no real thing that she did, its just her general aura that makes everyone around her happy and giggley :) ...

I do love my friends :)

My Love

2009-05-14T06:17:00.000-07:00

I LOVE ALEX WALLHEAD, LIAM HENDLEY AND MY GIRLFRIEND JESSICA LLOYD x

My Lists :)

2009-05-14T05:44:00.000-07:00

I Love:

When the shower steams up so much i can't see my feet

When it rains just after you get in

Spending lost and lots of time with my besties

When we finish having a meal at home and sit and natter for ages

When you can smell freshly cut grass through the rain

When my teachers sneekily hug me just when I need it

When my besties know examtamundoly what i am thinking

The feeling of achievement after a day well spent :)

I Hate

People who say that they are fat or ugly to get attention because they know they aren't

Confrontation...

When the people i love are mad at me...or anyone else for that matter

The prospect of loosing anyone i love

When you find clothes you love, but the stoooopid shop doesnt have your size

When it rains and im in a bad mood

When it's sunny, but the wind means it's still cold

The idea that i have to leave school soon...

Ahh the similarities between love and hate...red symbolises both love and hate...passion and fury...

How us humans draw a thin line between the two.

However, i do believe that if everyone hugged more, the world would be a much happier place :)

The innocene of youth....

This is yours truley, signing out :)

Partaaaaaay :D

2009-05-13T14:54:00.000-07:00

Well then my lovelies :) ...

Saturday night was a fabby party for a girl at my schools 16th. Strictly invite only, although we did get gatecrashed by 2 seperate groups of lads, but they weren't allowed in (damit :P)

Anyway...when parties are that good, and then followed by an even fabbier sleepover (which should really be called 'wake overs' lets face it) at the house of yours truley, what have you got to worry about?

Us gurlies, all dressed up :)

Jess'kaaa, Sarahkins, et moi :)

Jess'kaaa et moi :)

Sarahkins, Jess'kaaa, Lexi, moi, Nix, et le birthday girly :)

Une of the said gatecrashers :P...likl Jackjack :P ... quite drunk he was :P

Another rebelious gatecrasher, Milzy....used the line 'are you going to kiss me, or am i goning to have to lie to my diary?' on me...it didnt work :P ... he was also quite drunk :P

Jess'kaaaa with o-so-sexi breadstick fangs... :) she rocks :)

Jess'kaaa stradeling a gatepost :) ....

Le birthday girly, Jess'kaaa, a fabby impression of Captian Jack Sparrow, et moi :)

The cone we 'saved' from a hedge :P ... were were sober :P it was hillarious :)

Ahhh teenage fun :P ....

What more can a girl ask for?

Art...

2009-05-03T04:59:00.000-07:00

Well fellow bloggers...exam time has hit.

Art is the only one so far that i have done, and i just wanted to show you the fruit of my labours as it stands...since i took these photos, i have built a frame to make them look like they're a view out of a window. It seperates the pictures aswell...

Basically, my project is about sleep, so i did a surrealist picture, showing random things that could be in a dream.....im quite proud of it, even though my teacher is still tryin to get me to add loads in...

:( grrr to her

I've taken pictures of the progression of my picture, and will take more soon....

House before the walls were painted...

With tree, sky and most other things painted...

Sky, cards, tree done...bubbles half done, and ribbon sketched...

House complete, sky, apple startede, ribbon not yet started...

Tree, sky, sun and kite finished...clock and candel not started...

Tree, leaves and bird done...clock and candle not yet started...

Stars, sun, kite, clock, candle and tree finished :)

House, apple, tree and ribbon finished :)

Candle, clock, tree, leaves, card and stars done :)

Sun :) Vair vair proud of it :)

Piece practically finished...lovin it :)

Cards, bubbles, stars, sky and tree done :)

Close up of bird :) ... vair proud :)

Completed house etc...

Close up of bubble to look like the Earth... :)

Please tell me what you think... I really am proud of it :) ... and i kind of want people to tell me that my art teacher is wrong :P

Love to you all :)

:D

2009-04-29T01:09:00.000-07:00

Rebelious teenager strikes again :) ...

I am trying to work out which work to do in my o-so-preductive study lesson...

Drama coursework, or AS english? ... ahh the choices that face modern students today teehee.

Iv done my art exam (the real thing and everything :) ) and it went alrite... although my art teacher is being TRES annoying :( ... i have done more backup work than anyone else in my class...i have finished a book!! ... and shes still saying i have not done enough... grr to her lol

Anyway...am going to do drama :)

Love to you all :)

<3

Hmmm....

2009-04-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

Well...isn't my brain just a confusseled mess? ...

Answer: Yes.... very.

I don't know what is going on...in most things. School...friends...(and the old favourite) lads...

Recently, I've noticed that me and one of my closest and dearest friends have been arguing. We never used to argue. And i know that a lot of people say that, but honestly, never. We've always been dead close, and we hated not seeing each other for long amounts of time. We talked online for ages, and we were always texting. He's really important to me...but recently...its all been changing...and i dont know why. Neither of us do...

Lad wise...hmph...

Lets not go into that... me thinks that that is for the best. It is tres complex...and i really can not be bothered to go on and discuss the (aparent) inner workings that is the modern teenage boy...

They are quite irritating, and should not really be discussed at great length for fear of the speakers health...

Also, one of my 'friends' has gone off in a strop again...(it does seem to happen a lot...she's...like that) and i do not have the faintest idea why...but it is quite upsetting, and annoying, because i do so hate people not talking to me and being mad at me... it does seem to be me that this is mainly centered at for some reason...

Anyway...this is starting to seem like quite a depressing post so....sorry about that....

Love to you all my lovelies...

Wish me luck...exams soon...

Photo Up!! :D

2009-04-18T09:03:00.000-07:00

Well here we are again, with the whole 'me being truley awful

at putting up the pictures i take on my phone' thing... i finnaly put them on

my pc today (only after it had a spaz on me and wouldnt recognise

my phone... grrr) but anyway...here are the best ones :)

This was a sticker on the back window of a tiny little original

(bright yellow!!) beetle car...I couldnt

resist snapping a quick picutre, before walking away like i did nothing :P

This is the first sign that summer is back...when the

giant

blowup

slides

are back in the park...oh how we love them :)

This was the first tree i saw that had blossom on it...i love trees like this :)

Shhh about this one....

JALS where very naughty with this one... :P

This is on a science desk at school!! ...

(Like i said...shhhhhh)

This is Jamie...(grrr) during an art lesson...as you can see, he is clearly

paying lots and lots of attention...

Again Jamie (still grrr) ... he modrocked his finger ... like an idiot haha....

Ahhh ... he is a moomin ...

So there you go :) ... short and sweet :) ...

Im sorry that they aren't better quality..but the camera on my phone

is not of the highest quality...

Love to all, hope you had a good easter :)

Jayneee's Turn :)

2009-04-14T06:29:00.000-07:00

Now then bloggers, as many of you will remember, a little while ago it was my lovie friend Stuart's birthday...For his party, we (Jayne and myself) made him quite a fabby Spongebob cake :) we were vair vair proud of ourselves, and so began the birthday tradition, that is me being put in charge of cake making...for the lovies... :)

So here now, is Jayneeeee's 15th birthday. Seen as she is in China for her 16th next year (hidiously fabby sounding school trip) she's having her big party this year. So I made her a little birthday cake :) ...

Opinions please :)

It's based on her green Ipod Chromatic...which is fabby :)

(I have it in yellow :P)

Yeah...please tell me what you think :)

:D

2009-04-12T04:39:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter Blogland!!!

May your day be filled with joy and chocolate, and let the cries of happy children ring throughout the land! ...

(is it me or am i starting to sound like a queen or something...id be a good queen... :P ...)

Last year, mutti forgot about easter as she wasnt well, but she's better now, and easter has come back with a bounce :)

Hope you all have a lovley day :) ... Dont get ill by over endulging your sweet tooths...but have fun :)

Love to you all :)

<3

Teeheehee.....

2009-04-03T01:20:00.000-07:00

Well my little blogging friends...

This entery is another one from school, as i am now:

In a science lesson
On the computers
With a subsitute....

What could be better for a little chat with the blogging community? ...

(Note to mum: ... i have finished the work...i am now resting from the hecticness of it all :P)

Tomorrow is Alex's Birthday Party...and i officially can not wait :) ... we're goin to her house, and meeting 3 of the friends from her old school....we'll finally be able to put a face to each of the names!! :) ...

Calam might be coming aswell, because what with Alex being the sweety that she is, she invited him :) haha ... to keep her boyfriend company. It's calam's sisters birthday on the same day, so he's got to try an be in 3 different places in one go :P ... im sure he'll manage... he noramlly does haha.

We're obviously doing a lot of work in our lesson .. we just found out

42% of boys preffer curvy girls
38% preffer slimmer girls
9% go for anything they can get... (!!!!!)

And we are suppose to have faith in men!! ... I know im only young, but still..........this hardly sets us a good example now does it? ... haha.... o well...

Anyway....we had an early summer here for afew days, and got lots of piccies of me and JALS...so i intend to blog them when i am at home and have access to them again...

Hold this space!!

P.S : (look at the one before this...this is an add on)

2009-03-26T07:10:00.001-07:00

P:S my lovleys....

I really really really want/would strongly like a digital camera...i have done for a while....

However....

I have recently discovered the joys of polaroid pictures... i love everything about them...the slight change in quality, the different colours, the size....and so i now really really really want/would strongly like a polaroide camera aswell.... they are totally adorable, and i would really really really want/would strongly appriciate any help or advice you can give me on getting a cheap and good quality one....

Tah muchly :)

<3

Teehee....

2009-03-26T06:40:00.000-07:00

Well once again i have left 'Spoff Ville' and have walked over the threshhold of 'Rebelious Valley' ... (for all people who don't know, a spoff is a nerd...and i am a biiiiig nerd :P haha) I am blogging in a study lesson!! Mwahahahaha.... *comences evil/crazy eyes* ... Teehee i feel like such a rebel...

Anyway anyway anyway....

i am (i almost wrote ham there...how wierd would that have been?? :P my fingers are not responding to my brain signals today, and so i am proan to errors visa-vi typing....so forgive me if it says something silly or rude, as it is probably not intentional) doing far better on my art project, and its going really well :)

I have paid for the rest of my share of the limo i am taking to prom, (thanks to my mother who let me use some change this morning) which means that i now have a vair vair good chance of getting to prom in one piece :) which is tres good because i didnt want to have to go on the free school bus like a numpty...

I have to start doing my coursework for AS level English Language, which i am doing a year early (remember what i said about being a biiiig nerd?? :P ), and am quite looking forward too because ill get to write a story which im quite good at (if i do say so my self) and actually quite enjoy....

(wooooo i have just noticed that i am on a magic computer from the future....it says that my last blogging autosave too place at 13:53.....but my computer clock says that it is 13:51...spooooky huh? magic time traveling computer!!!)

But anyway anyway anyway...

Am quite liking life at the moment....although it still has the massive let down that is the male part of the population....well the teenage male part - which i suppose narrows it down a lot. - i also think that i should include gun-men, murderers, abbusive people and ... wierdos (lol) in this group, but that is more for the sanity of the human race than my own personal vengance...but

anyway anyway anyway...

back to the teenage males..i have decided that they are all a huge amount of let downs....i am perminantly disapointed by them making plans and not keeping them...it quite irritates me....but i try to stay upbeat...(not that it works some days...sometimes i feel like a pile of over-emotional goo on the floor who needs to be scrapped off and re-moulded) and my friends keep me sane....ish :P

Love you guys!!!!

.....i do appologise for my post being particularly random today, but i am having one of my hppy-for-no-reason days, and am quite hyper. of course, im only sorry if you dont like it...if you do then tell me and i will try to do it more often haha....

So yes, love to you all my dearies....wish me luck visa-vi ladwise and AS nerdness.... :D

:D

2009-03-22T07:45:00.000-07:00

Helloooo out there blogland!! :D

There will be no pictures on my post today, as i am currently at my grandypeeps, but it is tres tres nice to see them :) I have also enjoyed the company of my aunt, my two likl cousins, (whom i love but have their moments when they are supremley annoying...as is their duty) and my sister!! :D who has corragiously come up (or down, or across, im never sure which direction she lives in) from university to see us in our family glory :) ....

And as it is mothers day i got my mutti a small pressie, and gave her a pair of earrings that i made and have had for a while, and she borrowed the other day (without permission may i add :P ) ... and that she had been eyeing up every time she came into my room since. They were quite rockin' really...they were the ying and yang symbols and are quite sweet :)

There is a fair amount of gossip surrounding my week, but as i am on a computer in their living room, and i think we are leaving soon i shall not embark upon the long winded (and probably quite boring) stories.... so i will love you and leave you...

(And talk to you again when i get home :P)

Love <3

So....

2009-03-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been vair vair vair bad at puttin up the pictures that I take on my phone... And even now, I'm putting them up in the best hope that i won't have some crazy assasin knocking at my door....(although, I find it hard to believe that an assasin would knock but one can always hope that they are still polite after killing people.....)

Anyway.......

These ones are from half term when we (JALS...and Calam lol) went to meadowhall for the day. Went in one of the shops, and saw this dress and had to try it on... :D

I did quite love this 'ere dress...but I tried it on when I went shopping with mum, but it didn't look so good then :S ... but I was trying on a bigger size.

Errr.....what else have we got here??

Oooo...these ones are from the first time I had my hair done for the show, and I loved it sooo much!! ... My hair has never ever been this long, and (even though it wasn't my hair) it felt so good :)

They aren't very good photos of me... but I have decided that I don't care :) ... But I do look like a total poser on these lol.......

Haha...I love this one aswell....when we were all at Sarah's 16th, and I stole her grooooovy glasses....

I do think that they are quite rockin'....

(i bought some in black lol)

Now after the photo extraviganser:

Everything is fine at the moment....life wise :D ... there's nothing incredible happening. Now that High School Musical is over, it's just a waiting game until my BIG exams....not looking forward to them, but they're quite close really...so I should probably stop complaining about them quite so much teehee...

I'm sorry that it's not very interesting today.....

Love to you all :)

Deary Jess....here is what you missed...

2009-03-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Jessica...(and any otheres who wish to read...but this is mainly for her benifit)

As you were off today, and I am so wonderful and full of kindossity, I have decided that todays blog will be about filling you in on the events that you missed. There weren't many, but I wanted to keep this short anyway...and those that happened are too fabby to be missed :)

Firstly...we got gossip of Lexi...although I don't want to write what it was because she would disconect my head from my body if i pubished it on the internet :P ... But I thought i should tell you to ask her what she did over the weekend ... :D

Secondly...Mrs Hall is not going to be in our English lesson tomorow

(I repeat...NOT...IN...OUR...ENGLISH...LESSON)

as she is at a meeting and cannot make it. So we will have a supply and will be ordered to do our Jane Eyre Coursework...(so don't forget it)...more fun for us :P

Also, dinner was filled with gaffaws and chuckles, as me and Patch discovered that we have a rather fabby party trick....it is quite rockin'...even if I do say so myself...but I will let you make your own mind up :)

See? We were so organised that we even took photos...

It's slightly 'Dirty Dancing' ish...don't you think?....(for any that haven't worked it out...I am the person being lifted...not the one doing the lifting...kay? :P)

Patch kept making me do it bless him...and we have decided that we will learn how to do it with me having my arms out and not supporting myself... oo-er ... 'tis a triffle scary, but I will have Fluffy at my head, and V at my feet...so that if I fall they can catch me :D ... all planned out don'cha know :P

Ooooo...also....in art...i was painting one of my pages, and used some newspaper to protect the desk. We found what was on a certain page to be of very high commical value :P ...

Lonley hearts add: (proabably from some deluded wierdo)

'Sexy, athletic, good-looking romantic guy, 42 (HA!!!!!) seeks exciting woman to explore local woods for frolics amoungst the bluebells.'

It is a DIRECT quote!!! ... ...and my golly did it make us howl...The said newspaper page is now safely blue-tacked to my bedroom wall, just above my radiator, so that I can check other adds when I need to smile. Along with that is a piece of writing from one of the basket ball nets that fell off today. That's right Jess...I have a piece of the ADDIDAS sign from the backboard on my wall....a little piece of P******e right there on my wall... :D You know im cool :P

(name of school has been covered...not for legal reasons...Im just too busy for any crazy stalkers right now :P)

I am trying to think if there was anything else of note that happened...As far as I can tell that was it....

Our darling Jess we do so hope that you are back tomorow :) we miss you so when you're away

:( ...

Get well soon my lovley!!!

(so much for this one being short :P)

Oopsie...

2009-03-01T13:50:00.000-08:00

I know that i have already posted today...but i found pictures on my phone that i just couldnt resist putting on...as soon as possible.....

This, is the science lab that i have my lessons in at school.

These, are the people who sit infront of me...

And this is the glue stick, that one of my 'oh-so-hillarious' class mates stuck on the ceiling/wall thing to prevent my teacher from finding it because he nicked it off her and didnt want to give it back :) ... it stayed there for the whole, entire double lesson :) ...

It was tres funny....it was the sort of 'holding your sides laughing' laughter, every single time that my teacher walked near him, because we all thought it was going to drop on her head :) ....

(it didn't...)

But it was so hillarious that i just could not resist whipping out my camera phone, and taking a picture while she wasnt looking...it was just too tempting...

Yes...us teenagers are CRAZY!!

Well....

2009-03-01T08:59:00.001-08:00

I was going to post a post secret that i saw ages ago, that i was really in the mood to put on...but i couldnt find it :( ... grrrr to google...

(I don't mean that google... i love you to bits :) ... you're just a tad annoying sometimes)

But i did find this:

Which i thought was pretty fitting for the glorious day we're having :) ... so happy sunday people!! :D

School....

2009-02-25T01:30:00.001-08:00

Well, now that High School Musical is over ( :(...by the end of the show, no-one wanted it to end), my life at school is far more simple. The show went brilliantly, and we got a fantastic write up in our local paper...you can see the whole article on my mums blog, Nutty Gnome, as she is so proud of me that she put up a picture of it, which - if clicked on - is easily readable.

We got given our exam papers for art yesterday. We get 7 weeks prearation time and a 10 hour exam to do it in. We have to pick from a list of choices, which one we have to study, and i have chosen - drum role please - ......

Sleep :)

That's right, i get to do an entire project on sleep, dreams, the subconcious, pajamas!!! teddies!!! how adult and childhood sleep differ, etc etc etc....and i cant wait!! ... im really excited about this project, and hopefully i will get a good grade for it.... :S ...

Sadly there are no pictures in this quickie post of mine, as i am in another study lesson, and therefore have none of the photos that are normally on my pc...however, if you are very nice to me, my little reader bees, then i might post a picture of me and my friends and our recent achievements...if your very lucky :P teehee....

Rite, thats all for now, as i have remembered that i didnt take my english work out of my bag today, and therefore have work to do!!! ... So ... id better go really :D

Love to you all.........

<3

2009-02-22T11:54:00.001-08:00

Some days i just don't know what to call my posts, so here instead, is an entery without a name...for a week that can not be described :)

It's been half term...so any normal person would think that would give me plenty of time to write enteries and keep you up to date with what's happening with me...but no...i have been majorly busy most days...

I've had people over almost every day...either that or i've been out with them. I'd list what i did with my week for you, but i just tried it and it was quite hard...and abit dull. So i decided that i wouldn't bore you with a - probably inacurate - list of my week...

It's been a good week. JALS had a lovley sleepover at my house on Wednesday night. We had about a million duvets all over the floor of the sitting room, and watched films and Skins episodes until about 1 in the morning. Then we turned off the TV and talked until about 1/4 to 2...it was fab :) I do love my friends :) ... It's quite suprising that we didn't keep my parents awake because the sitting room is right under their bedroom....and we did make quite a lot of noise... :D because we are mad, chatty, giggley, over excited teenager girls :)

On Friday mum took me to Nottingham to a) by some shoes for prom and b) to see my lovely sister. It hadn't been long since i saw her last, because she came to see me in High School Musical, but it was lovley to see her anyway :) ... we went out for a meal at a really nice japanese resturant and talked and all the things youre meant to do with sister and your mum.

The rest of my time this holiday has largley consisted of my friends come over an spending the day. We put the trampoline back up, we've watched at least 4 films...and we've laughed. We've laughed a lot.

So all round it's been a pretty fabby half term. There's only one downside that i can so far think of, and that is tat tomorow...i have to go back to school....

*my sister pointed out to me the other day that i have been confussing blogs and posts....posts are the short enteries...blogs is the whole thing...right?

Oh the rollercoaster.....

2009-02-15T12:15:00.000-08:00

Won't you promise me,

Now won't you promise me,

That you'll never forget,

We'll keep dancing to keep dancing,

Wherever we go next

It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you,

It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do,

And with every step together, we just keep on getting better,

So can I have this dance,

Can I have this dance....

I dont know what to say about this one....apart from, i was watching it with some friends and i cried....because there are some times, no matter how many people you have around you, when you feel all alone....

And i was sat on my bed, with two fantastic friends...and i cant remember the last time i had felt more lonley...because watching that film.....it just makes it so much clearer that i dont have the love like they do, and my life is moving at such a fast pace....

But all i want it to do is slow down....so that i can appriciate it for what it is....

It's like...in the film, they all get so wrapped up about thinking about the future, that they forget to look at the present...and they worry so much that it tears them appart...their freindships are the only thing that keeps them strong....

And i do love my friends...

look at us....

look how cute we are at Sarahs birthday party....

I love them to bits...and they know it....

But sometimes....you need to know that your not alone....

But at the moment...

I feel like i am.....

Mhmmm.... :'(

2009-02-13T01:57:00.001-08:00

Riteo then peeps :)

Im in my 'study lesson' with nothing to do, so i thought id come one here because....i've nothing better to do, and iv missed you all :) ... i've been so busy recently...as you know :)

Well, High School Musical is going really well. So well infact, that we're putting on an extra show this afternoon - we were only originally doing 3 - for people in years 7, 8 and 9 ... hopefully years 10 and 11 will be allowed in to watch aswell because loads of my friends haven't had chance to see the show because the tickets went so fast.... and they are lazy :)

I know that the hall doesn't seat the entire school in one go, but i said that they could get rid of the chairs and sit on the floor to save room :) ... teehee, i think that it was a brilliant plan, but for some reason people didnt quite take me seriously :(

So anyway....Each show just sees to get better. The rehersals are still awful, and never really go to plan. Theres always something that goes wrong...even if its just talking behind the stage (that really winds the teachers up even if they know that we'll shut up in the actual show...)

In one rehersal, one of the lads planted 2 empty condom wrappers behind the stage as a practical joke. You can imagine the outrage from the teachers...it was not good...we had to stop the rehersal for 20 minutes until he owned up to having done it as a joke...they were worried that there was some child protection issuses or something...that was one of the worst disruptions.

But then the show comes........

And it goes so well....that we just forget about all the bad things that have happened during the day... its not worth worrying about them when the actual thing goes so brilliantly.

The woman from the Derbyshire Times (see 2 or 3 blogs back at the article from the paper) came last night to review the show. She's the one who did the original article when i was in West Side Story (but that story is for another blog) and she was really nice then...so hopefully the review will be nice :) ... we know that they won't go any easier on us just because we're a school. And on some levels, we don't want her too, because it wouldn't be honest if she did that.

In other news, it was my friend Sarah's birthday yesterday (Sarah of Rainey's Ramblings) and she was 16. (i nearly wrote 26 then...that would have been confusing). So we are going out tonight to Pizza Hut - because we are cool kids - and we will be having a fabby time. There will be pictures soon, so you can all see what happens when 4 girls and 2 boys get together with a pizza in a resturant....with no adults :D

Rite i'd best go now, because the lesson is nearly over, and Jess wants to see my published post before we go....so...

Bye for now peeps!! :D <3

Just a quickie..... :P

2009-02-11T14:43:00.000-08:00

Well...i only have afew minutes....

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL WENT FABBY!!!! :D :D :D :D

I'll let you all know more when we've done the final performance tomorow :) ... i dont want it to end now!!!

(the lead lad is acting with me now, so its alllll gooooood)

<3

O deary....not again...

2009-02-06T13:09:00.000-08:00

I read a blog earlier.... le love ... and it made me realise....

I have a school - yard crush....

But if it looked like the one in that photo, i would be much happier right now....

I don't handle crushes very well...they start off with something silly....and then they grow and grow...and after a while, i don't know what to do when im near the person, but i can't function without them near...

A few messages to let me know that im not crazy at this point would be much appriciated....

I fall for people waaay too easily...and then i cant seem to let them go...to tell you the truth,

i still think about an ex from years ago....

Is that wierd?

...or wrong?

or just plain strange....??

But im not sure what to do about it.....

He's not my normal type....and im deffinatly not his....

Maybe i should just give up......

And i want too...i really do....because sometimes, i dont even like him that much...

Infact, sometimes i hate him soooo much i want to rip my hair out!!!!!

But then he'll do somethin sweet...and all the bad stuff goes away....

My god im DOOMED!!!!

And also, im now going to get the supportive talk from my mum, because she reads my blog....but in this case i really dont want it...and mum, dont get me wrong, i love you sooooooooooooooo much, and i love that we can talk about anything.... but i just dont want to talk about this one.......its nothing against you, its just how i feel about this particular subject......sorry....

People.....please please PLEASE....

Help me, and my rediculous school-girl/yard-crush....

Please???

Oh my...

2009-02-05T03:21:00.000-08:00

O my giddy gosh!!!

I

Am

In

The

PAPER!!!

We had afew pictures taken for High School Musical the other day, but i think that we were expecting a few tiney photos and about a paragraph somewhere descrete in the paper...

However...

The page that we're on :) ... big pictures and main title :)

The text...lots of it :) ... and 2 of the main parts :)

This would be me and Alex, who is playing Troy...In the traditional cheesey paper pose :P

And again....Troy and Gabriella....

:D

I will be a star...

If it kills me!! :D

Well no....maybe not that extreame :)....

Im sooo happy :)

Enjoy..........

Gee....dont you hate days like this??

2009-02-04T13:33:00.000-08:00

It's been one of those days where i know that a lot has happened, but i just cant think of anything that i want to write down...

Mrs Hall (the teaching assistant in drama) had a skitz because she makes things up in her over-dramatised-lovie-head....and so the people doing the show with me are all having a meeting at dinner to organise :) ...

We dont know if shes coming back, but to be honest, i dont think that people are really that bothered...she is quite irritating...

....

So anyway, all my nearest and dearest are now a part of blogland...

My mum: Nutty Gnome

My sister: Cooplet

My Alex: A.J's Chatterblog

My Jess: Staying Alive

My Sarah: Rainey's Ramblings

So anyway....sorry that it is such a tragically short entery this fine night, but i am tres tres busy at the moment because of the spaz of Ms Cheryl Hall....

Also, my mutti is sending me to bed because its 'getting late' or whatever... :P ...

Even though i am waiting for a fabby friend to come online...o well....

Well....later peeps!! :D

x <3> x

Am I Dreaming??

2009-02-03T02:27:00.000-08:00

SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O MY GIDDY GOSH ITS SNOWED!!

I am having an actual SNOW DAY!!!

I was at school yesterday in the snow, and it was one of the best days of my life... i dont think i ever stopped smiling...we had so much fun...snowball fights at dinner, sledging after school, fantastic picture opertunities!!

Left to right: Jessica, Sarah, Alex, Me :D Love my gurlieees ...

Left to right: Jess, Sarah, Me, Alex...(Simon at the back like a goon)

Top: My shoes,

Bottom: Sarah's shoes,

Left: Jess's shoes,

Right: Alex's shoes.

It's becasue we're cool dontcha know? :P

Ryan pimpin' it up :P ... with Alex, me and Jess :)

(yes people...i am holding a cookie, because im cool..)

Don't you think we look like we're on an advert for hair die? Blonde, redy brown and brown :)

Me, Alex and Jess skipping our way down to science...
Thats how happy we were that day :)

Jamie and Sarah....took them ages to get together, and now they are, they're so cute!!!

Us with our o-so-groovy deputy head teacher :) ... i think we terriffied him lol...

He really is super cool and groovy :P

Alex and Darren are both tres tres photogenic, and so look very sweet together :)

This is me and Jamie....he is the lad who asked me to prom :) my date teehee...all my friends say i should go out with him..... hmmmm

Me and Alex, a suprise attack from the camera that means this picture is 'au natuarel' ...

I got tired...an Jamie was pulling the sledge...i thought id make use of it :)

Is that so wrong????

SNOW WENT DOWN MY BACK!!!!

It was soooo very very cold!! ...

CREWAGE!!!!! ... Just missing Jess because she took the photo....

Some of my 'crew'....not all of them...in either, but still lol.

Me an Ashley (who i call Mash...for funnies)

People tell me to crop him out, but im too nice :P

Me and Alex...i think i've found my photo pose :)

i love love love this photo...

You know we're cool :P ....

And yes, i am wearin odd wellies....Jess had the other one of each teehee....

This was when me and Sarah were about to go down a massive hill :)

Fabby!!

Hopefully this will help you match faces to names when i rambol on about them now...although not all of my friends are here becasue they had to go home or dont like cameras (boooo)

Yes people, i had the best day...and i wouldnt trade in my memories of it if you gave me ooooodles and ooooodles of squids for spenderoonies........

I do believe that the best times of my life were in that snow....and now you get to enjoy my memories with me....

Please please please tell me what you think!!

Love to you all....stay safe in the snow :)

Again...and again....and again....

2009-01-22T12:11:00.000-08:00

Well, another rehersal has been and gone...this one far less interesting than the last. We had to do one scene at least 10 times....i kid you not...it got very dull....(hense the title...) But it's only 3 weeks until High School Musical (anyone who hasn't seen this film, where have you been for 4 years???...You must google it immediately as it is the most sock rocking thing ever....) and the teachers are starting to freak out slightly....

It became very clear today just how worried afew of them are getting...Ms Golden (drama) looked like she was fast aproaching melt down...or a heart attack....

Ms New-English-Teacher-Who's-Name-I-Cant-Remeber-But-I-Know-It-Starts-With-M was getting very annoyed because people kept prompting the people on stage when she wanted them to remeber the lines on their own...

Ms Hall (or Cheryl as we call her - even though we're not sure if we're really allowed too) was getting redder and redder as Ms Enlgish-Teacher told her off for prompting (very very funny to watch from the sidelines)

Ms Bowskill (Music) was the only one who resembled anything even close to calm...but even she was saying how much people need to learn all of their lines....like we didn't know it already lol...

As I'm the lead girl, I should really know them all inside out and back to front by now....but i dont....(shhh dont tell anyone)....i am very tempted to record myself saying them and put them on my ipod...then i could have them on as i sleep and they'd go in subconciously....sound like a plan?

The lead boy had the king of all hissy fits today....he got a phone call home from school because he wasn't wearing full uniform...and his parents sold his ticket to Wembley to watch the football as a punishment...i thought it was particularly harsh.... bless him he was so upset....he threw all of his stuff down a corridor....But because im so nice, me and my friend collected it all so he didnt loose it... :) ....

He took some of his temper out on me....but we're quite close (well, closer than i am with alot of the 'popular kids' in my year...im a nerd lol)...an i dont think he expects me to retaliate, so im hoping it was nothing personal lol....

Well, that would be my rambolings over for today....i think ill get started on that recording...maybe stop myself worrying a little bit...i think i may be close to breaking aswell...i was after tonight...

Comment please! ... My blogs do look very sad with no comments

Love to you all :) ... xxx

Look What My Friends Get :)

2009-01-21T13:54:00.000-08:00

Well, Stuart (he's a 'lovey' as my mother so daintily puts it...he goes to my drama and i love him to pieces (= ... ) ... is one of my bestest friends....and he turned 16 over Christmas...now, us lovies do believe that 16 is a pretty speacil birthday, so we were happy to hear that he was going to have a little rondayvoooo with some friends from school. However, no such luck.
One by one, they all cancled, apart from one...the last one to cancel was because he wanted to go to a football match....with a SEASON TICKET .... now, I'm no football fan, but even I know that a season ticket means that you can go to any game....at any time...am i right?? ... So yeah, all of his friends are......rubbish to be honest :) ...
So, because me and my drama people are sooo nice, us lovies decided to throw him our own party...something cheesey, fun, a little wappy and so totally like us :)
So me and another lovie Jayne organised everything...we had nibbles, pass the parcel (because we're cool), pizza, chocolate, and the best cake that me and Jayne have ever made... :)

Please tell me what you think :) .... I was dead proud of it...it says 'Stubs' because Stuart spelt his name wrong on predictive text and it stuck... It is also what he called the sandwich he created in Subway a while ago....its yummyyyyyy :) ...

Thoughs please :)

How 'brilliant' can a weekend get?

2009-01-11T12:19:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm now back to the monotonous tourture of the daily routine...I'm back at school and already working really hard once more...because I am a 'super nerd', I had an AS (for any people that arent from England, thats the first year of college, when you do your first big exams...i think that might help, but if not, feel free to google it) exam...which wouldn't normally be a big deal...although mine was a bit different.

I took my exam a year early...didn't I say that I was a supper nerd?? Hopefully I will have done alright...it's only a mock for us (although it's a real exam for actual AS students) but I still want to do well...

I'd be so proud of myself if I managed to get a C .... infact I'd be over the moon....but I dont think that I will have done because I forgot loads of the technical terms that I was supposed to use :( ...

We went to my grandypeeps for the weekend. It was good fun... we hadn't seen them for a while so it was nice. They've got a new golden retriever puppy actually, and it's sooo adorable!! They've called it Fred...well Fredrick really. All of their pets have been named after members of the royal family...

The rest of my day has been abit of a bummer really...we took my sister (who writes the blog called Cooplet) back to university...and I hate it when she leaves. It was far easier than the first time we had to do it...at least I didn't cry this time... at least I know that she can look after after herself now... well I knew it before, but she's proven it now at least...

Oooooo ... I almost forgot to say!! When we were at the grandypeeps, we went to that massive new shopping centre in leicter...I think it's called Highcross...and mum bought me.................wait for it.......................wait for it......................

REAL CONVERSE!!!!!!! .... and not just any converse!!! TURQUOISE CONVERSE!!!!! They are so truley fabby, that i thought i was about to explode with happiness.

Aren't they pretty??!!!

I really think that they may be the most fabulous trainers I have ever seen!! ... I used to think that my friend doodle trainers were awesome....(litterally white pumps that she doodled on) but no I'm not so sure.... mine might outrun them :)

So anyway...tell me what you think of them :) ... but I'll have to love you and leave you....The ever-so comfy town of Bed-fordshire is beconing and I don't want to appear rude and reffuse it's offer.

Goodbye my lovely readers.....or reader as the case most probably is... :)

A Decision...

2009-01-08T09:55:00.000-08:00

Well my lovely blogfans...(and by that i mean the few people who actually read my blog)...i have come to a decision...

As you may have guessed, i do not have masses of time for crafting...and im not as advanced as a lot of people. this was getting me down, so i have decided to play to one of my 'strengths' ... im going to turn my blog into a site for me to let my random thoughts flow out and become published all over the web...almost like an online diary really...although, not really the most secretive, but hey, iv got one of those aswell :P ...

So be warned, this will not be a blog for the faint hearted. it will be consumed with the confusion of teenage rambolings, and unless you can handle the metaphorical explosion of unpublished genious then i sujest you stick to the more crafty blogwaves. (that sounds really mean when i read it back, but it isnt meant too...believe me :) im giving you a taste of what my blog will be like....)

So then...please keep reading it....sometimes, a teenager needs an outsiders assistence in this suposedly simple thing that (stoooopid) people call growing up.

So in an attempt to make my life sound abit more.....life like, i will attempt to fill you in on some of its most recent events...

Now, i am in year 11, (for any people not familliar with the british excuse for a schooling system, that is the last year before goin on to higher education...its when we take GCSE's...our first set of major exams...if that hasnt cleared it up then please feel free to google it) and the prom is well known to be a major highlight in many teenagers school life. The people in my year are gradually getting quite excited about the prospect of dressing up 'all fancy' and proving to people that they know how to move on a dance floor.

it is almost all my year is talking about...(are we excited or purely sad? who can say)...the main topics up for discussion are the outfits (derrr) and the (dare i say it?) the dates....i do find it quite ammusing that many people are getting quite stressed out by not having one yet, and sometimes i feel like the only one that has remembered that it is 6 MONTHS away...

However.....(and im worried about being called a hypocite here) i couldnt resist scowering the net last night searching for the perfect dress...here's what i found on my internet travels:

I fell in love with this one instantly....It's technically a fairy costume, but its just sooo lovely that i seriously considered getting it...until i saw the price....$375...a tad extravagant me thinks...

I loved this one, but it looks a bit like a wedding dress...and also (just a little technicality) it was over $2,000....i think....but dont hold me to that....but it's not really suprising, as it's handmade...

This one is also absolutly gorgeous...however...it actually is a wedding dress...also i didnt know if it would fit, because, im not big, but the woman wearing it is sooooo tiny!!!... that's not just me is it? ... also..... its $4,500.....

I think that mine will be...slightly simpler...and far less expensive....

And as for dates go, i am proud to say that i have already aquired one :) ... deary, im making him sound like a possetion....bles him. He asked me the day before yesterday, and he was ever so nice about it.... it was the 'do you have a date for prom' and me saying 'no' and him saying '...ye me neither' before waiting about 3 minutes before actually asking me.... can i hear an 'awwww' please? .... then the next day at school, he came up and asked me what colour dress i was wearing, (i stoped myself from saying 'its 6 months away people!!'...just) because he didnt want to 'get a suit that doesnt go with it' ...... isn't he a sweety??

In other news, i have been 6th form hunting with my dear mother... not for a while, but it is still annoying that i have one left to see. i am getting quite tired of thinking about 'my future' ... because to be quite honest, i dont really know exactly what i want to do. id love to end up in the west end...but that may just be a dream...mum and dad say that i should do something to do with creative writting, although ruth did lovingly point out that that isnt the easiesy career option either. i dont half make things difficult for myself do i??? .... ill give you more updates on that one as they develope...

i think that this may be it for now...more because i do believe my fingers are about to fall off due to 'over typing exursion' ... that should be a medical condition... i hope it was happy reading for you :) ...

lots of love :) ...

A Game Of 6 Unique Things

2008-10-27T10:07:00.000-07:00

I got tagged by my sister for this game... it took me a while to under stand it but now that i do, im going to pass it on.

The rules are quite simple really...when you get tagged, you must:

- Link to the person who tagged you.
- Mention the rules.
- Tell six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about yourself.
- Tag six other bloggers by linking to them.
- Go to each person's blog and leave a comment that lets them know they've been tagged.

... so my 6 quirky yet boring things are...

1, i have no idea at all what to do with unmanaged time...i have a brilliantly overactive imagination, but its truley rubbish when it comes to thinking what to do when i havent got homework or something to read ect.

2, i love taking pictures of the sky on my phone or a camera. sunsets, rainbows, pink clouds...they all make me feel happy...and reminde me that we're in a beautiful world, no matter how bad things get.

3, i love to stand out...being a sheep is an aweful concept for me...i wear different clothes, i like different things... but no matter how much i love to stand out, it still hurts a little when people say how wierd i am.

4, im 15...and i still sleep with cuddely toys on my bed :) ...

5, im abit of a hypercondriac...infact...at the moment im convinced that i hav a brain tumour...and i think im a manic depressive.

6, i listened to the song "people should smile more" by newton faulkner and it made me smile all the time...im convinced that if you smile to someone...it makes their day better. so now i do...to make the world (well maybe just the town i live in) a happier place :) ....

Im going to tag...

- A CUP OF JO
- ♥ Chelsea Ann
- Shabby Vintage Mom
- mrs robinson presents
- Apple & Eve
- LucyKate Crafts...

sorry theres no crafty things up this time...lots and lots and lots and lots goin on lol....but it wont be long i promise. :)

A Post Secret

2008-09-28T04:17:00.000-07:00

Postsecrets is one of my altime favorite websites. Itwas set up buy a guy in america who wanted people to send their deepest secrets in on postcards...anonimusly of course.... and i went on today because it changes every sunday...this post made me smile...and made me think thank god im not the only one who cares about thigs like that.

It always worries me when a car is in an area that isnt as pretty as some others. Or when a car isnt very clean....i worry that they dont feel pretty... :) lol im not crazy...i promise.

Sorry its been so long....dont get much time now im bak at school. I'll try harder :)

Im Seeing Spots!!

2008-08-09T08:01:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't managed to post anythin recently...it's been a bit hectic...I got given a guitar the other day and I've spent ALOT of time playing on it...I'll post some pictures of it soon if I can. It's really nice... :) ... it's blue and sooo pretty...

But anyway...back to the post...Ruth helped me to make a skirt yesterday. It's soooo pretty and I am really really proud of myself. I couldn't have done it without her...she made the pattern up as she went along and it's brilliant. Perfect for my style at the moment.

I don't think you can see, but the fabric is white with coloured spots. It used to be a pair of curtains...although we honestly don't know how it kept out any light at all because the material is soooo very thin...! The waste band is quite thick...and the pleets are nicely spread out.

Tell me what you think :)

I've Got Love In My Tummy :D

2008-07-31T09:36:00.000-07:00

I made brownies!! :D ... I'm going to a picnic with some friends tomorrow, and I needed to practice making them...so I did. With very yummy results...most of them were going within an hour or so of everyone coming home. I used the American Brownie recipe from one of many Delia Smith books that my mum owns. It's really simple and quite quick compared to other recipes' I found.

Don't they look yummy??

And when everyone got home...this is what happened....

Here's the recipe...just in case you want to make some yourself...

Ingredients:

4 oz butter (110g)
2 oz American unsweetened chocolate (available at specialist food shops) or plain desert chocolate (50g)
2 eggs, beaten
8 oz granulated sugar (225g)
2 oz plain flour (50g) sifted
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
4 oz chopped nuts (110g) - these can be walnuts, almonds, hazelnuts or Brazil or a mixture

Method:

Preheat the oven to 180*C (Gas mark 4, 350 F)
Get an oblong tin measuring 7 x 11 inches (18 x 28 cm) well-greased and lined with greaseproof paper.
First of all melt the butter and chocolate (broken into small pieces) together in the top of a double saucepan (or else place in a bowl above a saucepan with boiling water in the base)
Away from the heat, mix all other ingredients together in a large bowl
When the chocolate and butter mixture has melted completely, add to the other ingredients
Mix thoroughly and pour into the lined tin
Bake in the oven for 30 inutes until the mixture shows signs of shrinking away from the side of the tin and the centre feels springy
A knife inserted into the middle should come out cleanly (but don't over cook the mixture, it will firm up as it cools)
Leave for 10 minutes before deviding into squares and serving up onto a plate.

Twit -Twooooo :)

2008-07-30T03:38:00.000-07:00

Sorry I didn't post yesterday...I was creating, and time ran away with me... :D I had fun though. I made an Owl :) I'm quite proud...I think it's very cute....it has very dark eyes, and stands up, and can fly...(when I pick it up and throw it....not that I do that of course)

I was a bit worried about the eyes, because I didn't think matched...because they are sooo much darker...but Ruth says that they just stand out more so I left them as they were :)

Tell me what you think :)

Sorry that the post is so short today...I dont have that much to write about...I need to make more things... :S ...

Look What I Made!!! :D

2008-07-28T15:25:00.000-07:00

I made 2 bags today!! I am soooo proud of myself! Ruth talked my through the first one, but I'm still really happy to have made them at all! :D I think that they're really cute, and for first attempts, they aren't bad at all.....let me know what you think :)

Also, I saw a blog with a "Possitive Comments" banner on it...and I thought it was a REALLY good idea...so i kinda coppied it... :S ... i hope the person who I copied doesn't mind....if you do then tell me and I will take down these pictures.... :D

Well, it took me so long to make those bags today that I didn't really get much else done :D ... it was fun though, and I think that I might make a matching purse tomorow......

Tell me what you think :D ... please

And For My Next Trick...

2008-07-27T13:23:00.000-07:00

On My desk Today... I have:

My script from West Side Story
An uncompleted sketch (that's not very accurate) and a pencil
A random rubber duck...don't ask
A bag from the little organic shop in town
Some buttons that have accumulated over time
Some beads I made by twisting paper around a cocktail stick and covering them in PVA
My AWESOME pink scissors, and my jewelery pillars and cutters
A really nice little label off some clothes i bought

Summer Past-times:

Me and my sister were eating some chocolate earlier...(we had the muchies)...and we finished the top level. It meant that we had a big empty plastic tray with funny shapes in it...and what do all normal teenagers do when that happens? (Well to be honest, most throw it away or recycle it...but not us! Oh no, not us!!)

We decided to make awesomely shaped ice cubes!! Here is your step by step guide :) Before you start, make sure that you have enough room in the freezer...when we did it we had to make room...because we didn't think about it when we started :P ....

1) Start with a box of chocolates....any brand, although these taste fabby :) ... and then eat them (that's is the best bit )

2) Take out the top plastic layer.....(only when it's empty...don't waste good chocolate)....and almost fill the gaps with water :)

3) Put food colouring etc in the tray with the water....we used red, blue and yellow food colouring, eadible glitter, and in 2 we put a little bit of icing from those squirty pen things that you can buy for cake decorations..... :)

4) Put tray in the freezer and leave over night...

5) Enjoy you AWESOME ice-cubes!! Have fun :D

Well.....I think that's it for today.....hope you enjoyed it.....it was abit random.....but oh well :P i love random....bibi

My Earring Collection

2008-07-26T08:43:00.001-07:00

But just to start you off...I make a lot of earrings because it's cheaper than buying them...

These ones are made out of card...i printed out the pictures from the Internet and cut them into jigsaw puzzle pieces. I love these, I think they're really cute. They were one of the first pairs I ever made :D

I love cartoon style earrings. When I was little, I loved watching the Smurfs, and inspiration struck me a while ago. My sister has this stuff called "Shrinkles"...its a shiney paper that you can print or draw onto...and then you cook it and it shrinks. So I printed off pictures of Smurfs onto the paper and put them on a chain :) I love these....

<---Awsome--->

I'm a very musical person...I love singing, and I was in a show afew weeks ago - my drama group did West Side Story - and I loved that. To enphasise this I made some earrings out of some guitar picks...I spilt coffee all over the man in the shop I bought them from in the process, but still...I like the earrings :D...I make a lot of earrings out of polimer clay...it means that there are less restrictions. Also, it allows my designs to be more quirky and individual...that way they stand out more...and make more of a statement.

We have a BRILLIANT little bead shop in town...it's really cheap (like....3p a bead) and has an absolutly huge selection. Also the people there are really nice...they make you feel really welcome and chat to me while i spend money :D so I have a wide range of beads and really like the earrings that i make out of them...
Lastly...my sister bought me an old clock off the market in town. It didn't work, had no strap, and the screws were showing. So I took it apart and used the cogs for these earrings. They're really unusualy and I love them!! I get loads of complements when I wear them... :D

Let me Know what you think... :D

Hi :D

2008-07-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone :D...I think you should know that I've never done a blog before...so bare with me while I learn...it may take a while, but I'll get there.

I think that for now - while I'm still getting used to this new fangled technology :P - I'll just keep things simple. I'll do daily blogs as I have tonnes of spare time now school has broken up for the summer...So just let me know if I'm doing it right...or warn me in case I'm doing it wrong :)

Footsteps In The Sand

The New Dream..

Oh The Things We Do..

You Give A Little Love..

The 'I've Done' List..

Dear Old Acquaintance..

My Up Day..

Death By Education..

P.D.A - To Do Or Not To Do..

Teeny White Lie..

Is This Really The Way It Is Now?

Here's To..

Faith..

How Different We Are..

Just To Dance..

Ahh, The Power..

Damn It.

The Old and the New..

Oh.. Right. Thanks For That..

Dear Universe..

In My Own Skin..

Pond..

Changes..

This 'Growing Up' Business.. It's hard..

I Love Spring...

I Miss...

Oh How I Love Whimsy...

If only...

You Just Won't Understand...

One Day I Will Learn To Sail...

Reasons To...

I Love Autumn...

New Starts...

Flippin' 'Eck...

What the hell happened to us?

GCSE's, and the Official End of Summer...

My Favorite Things to See:

Le Francé and other Escapades :)

Ooft...

Sweet 16

Les Examons...

Clones, God How I Hate Them...

Pass Times...

*Sob*

Well well....

My Love

My Lists :)

Partaaaaaay :D

Art...

:D

Hmmm....

Photo Up!! :D

Jayneee's Turn :)

:D

Teeheehee.....

P.S : (look at the one before this...this is an add on)

Teehee....

:D

So....

Deary Jess....here is what you missed...

Oopsie...

Well....

School....

Oh the rollercoaster.....

Mhmmm.... :'(

Just a quickie..... :P

O deary....not again...

Oh my...

Gee....dont you hate days like this??

Am I Dreaming??

Again...and again....and again....

Look What My Friends Get :)

How 'brilliant' can a weekend get?

A Decision...

A Game Of 6 Unique Things

A Post Secret

Im Seeing Spots!!

I've Got Love In My Tummy :D

Twit -Twooooo :)

Look What I Made!!! :D

Sob